Sin of My Youth

I'm sure we all have a story or two we could tell about our younger days and some stupid things we have done.  Right?  It's not just me?  Right?  Don't pretend like you didn't just think of three instances of being not smart in a situation.

I was thinking about this today as I was listening to a podcast called 'Tell the Bartender'.  The host has guests on and they tell stories.  The topic varies from episode to episode, and it's a lot of fun.  It's something different for me.  It's not sports related or political.  Just another thing to listen to on my work commute.  So here's a story about a kid talking to me while I was getting drunk...

It is very safe to say that the summers of 2004 and 2005 were my making up for not partying in college.  I did go to a few parties in college, but not many.  They were fun, but I was always paranoid about getting busted underage drinking.  So I didn't really partake.  I did, however, make up for it while working on Mackinac Island.  Being of legal age while working there, I made too many trips to the bars.  And while I may have spent more than I saved, they were the best of times.  I made numerous friends working there.  More than I did while attending college.  These friends are who I consider my college friends.  And as you would expect a group of twenty one to twenty three year olds to do, we drank.  A LOT.  At our house, at the bars, on the porch, in the kitchen, in the shower.  All places where I consumed alcohol as I'm sure my friends did as well.  We had our favorite bar, Patrick Sinclair's Irish Pub.  Mainly because they tolerated us, but also because it was named after the guy that helped to build where we worked.  It was almost a guarantee that on at least one night of the week you would be able to find either a whole group of us or a small number.  Just relaxing and being college kids.

I don't remember the exact circumstances to this instance, but I was having a bad day at work.  It was hard to have them, but was possible.  About halfway through the day, I started asking my co-workers if any wanted to go to the bar after work.  Just have a couple of beers and a shot or two and then go home.  Something to help forget whatever it was that was causing the day to be so bad.  After getting a few nos, I was able to convince a couple of people to go with me.  So off we went once we were finished.  Smelling of wool, sweat, and sobriety. 

I remember walking in and it being around dinner time, so 5:30ish.  They never had a hostess, so we found a small table off to the side and a waitress came over with menus, welcomed us back.  I handed the menu right back to her and said 'I'll have a Guinness and three shots of whiskeys.'  She kinda stammered and walked away after the rest of the orders were put in.  We all chuckled about it and waited for the drinks.  

We got our drinks and just kept to ourselves.  Conversing, cursing, and not paying much attention to anyone or anything around.  I drank some of my beer, took a shot.  Drank more of my beer, took another shot.  Conversed, cursed, and staying oblivious to what was going on around me.  The waitress never really came by to check on us, but why would she when we ordered everything we needed right after we sat down.  The empty beer glasses and shot glasses just kinda hung out on the table. I finished my beer, took the last shot and we waited for the waitress to get our check.  

While we waited, there was a family a few tables over that had finished their meal.  They paid their check and got up to leave.  Before walking out the door, out of the corner of my eye, I see this kid start walking towards our table.  He couldn't have been more than six or seven.  He walks right over to me, tugs on my shirt sleeve, and said 'thanks for showing me your gun today!'  Without a care in the world.  I look over, and was at a loss for words for a second.  The alcohol may have attributed to that.  Just maybe.  All I could muster up was 'you're welcome.'  I mean what do you say to that?  Getting blindsided by a kid like that.  The mom and dad, of course, look at the table semi-full of empty beer and shot glasses and ushered the kid out the door.  The dad might have mustered a 'have a good night.' to us on their way out.  I don't quite remember.  

At the table, we just did our best to keep from busting out in laughter.  The kid obviously had no clue we were on our way to getting stumbling drunk.  He just recognized us from earlier in the day.  Oh, to be oblivious to the drunks at the bar!  

Looking back, I'm sure the parents were terrified.  But it's also fucking hilarious to think about.  It makes me wonder if they'll tell their kid one day 'hey Junior, remember that one summer we went to Mackinac Island and that soldier at the fort?  Well, he was completely shit faced and you told him thanks for seeing his gun!'  

A Year of Actual Goals

Over the past two years, I have set goals of reading.  Not the biggest goals for a year, but I felt great about it.  I am a slow reader (as my wife so lovingly reminds me each time she finishes a book) so setting goals for getting through the stacks on my shelf were great.  I am nearing the end of my unread books.  I have a stack of ten books and just got one for Christmas.  So eleven total books left to read.  Not bad, but I am in no rush to get them done by the beginning of 2015.  I have come up with a few goals for this year.  Actual goals.

Drink less.  While I do not have a full on drinking problem, I do know I want to drink less (it will be tied into another goal I have this year).  I came to the following realization near the end of December regarding my work and drinking:

Four days before Christmas and I haven't been drinking heavily after work. Each. Day. Yeah, I made a smart move.
— Michael Litzner (@Litzner) December 21, 2013

I always looked at November and December as 'the heavy drinking months' because of my job at Target.  Now that I have a far less stressful job, I have not been coming home really wanting to drink heavily.  I have come home and had one or two beers, but that is about it.  I no longer have a need for four or five just to unwind from work.  So, with a less stressful job I won't be drinking as much and therefore won't be spending as much money.  Which leads to my next goal. 

Save more.  Tomorrow, my wife starts a new job!  For the first time in about three and a half years, we will have two incomes.  And it's not like she hasn't been looking for a job, it's just that her industry has taken even longer to recover from the recession.  Thanks for that recession Obama Bush.  So with this new income development, we will be looking to move from our apartment hopefully.  We have been watching our spending ever since she was laid off, but it is hard to keep your savings balance up with one income.  And a retail income at that.  Who knows if we will have enough of a savings to start looking for an actual house or if we just stay another year and continue to save save save.  With this new job, my wife will be driving forty five to fifty minutes each way each day.  So a move south of where we are now will be prudent. 

Write more.  Tons more.  While I have felt great about what I have written over the past two years, I feel like I have missed out on plenty of writing opportunities.  Maybe it is because of writer's burnout or just shear laziness, but I know there were times over the last two years where I thought about writing and then just didn't.  I am going to set a goal of one hundred and twenty entries this year.  Ten a month if you do the math.  Do I have the most interesting or original ideas?  Not really.  Do I have the most interesting life that people want to follow?  Not really.  In the middle of August I did accidentally deleted a couple of published posts and some drafts that I was working on.  It was really disheartening after I realized I could not recover the deleted posts.  And the drafts I was working on were really in depth posts.  It was right around that time that I kind of gave up on writing hardcore last year.  At the bottom of each post, I will be keeping a counter to see if I can reach my writing goal for the year.  

1/120

MGT: 2013

It's funny to think I first thought about Man Grilling Time (MGT) back in 2009.  It's been four years of grilling, drinking, and grunting.  And four years of loin cloths (okay, maybe not).  This isn't some national phenomenon like No Shave November or something that people have picked up on and made annoyingly popular.  This is something that I started and shared with some of my friends.  This is my thing.  It's a great time.  The past two years have been a little different for one reason:  I have no grill.  

I do, however, have a grill pan this year.  So this is more along the lines of Urban Man Grilling Time.  It'll taste the same.  It's still steak.  It's still beer.  It's still a tradition I have tried to uphold for these past few years.  Last year I did not have a grill pan so I missed out.  No big deal.  So what do I have this year?  I have a rib eye, some Grain Belt beer, and baked beans.  Who needs salad?  Am I right?!

Every time I talk about this, my wife just kind of rolls her eyes and sighs.  Everything short of patting me on the head.  I know she's just jealous of the great time I have by myself.  PARTY!  Now I'm off to grill some meat.   

Beer Tax

There is a possibility of the state of Minnesota raising the taxes on alcohol and I'm okay with that.  It is an effort by the Democrat led state government to help balance the budget, something you would think most would be in favor of.  When anyone hears the term 'tax hike' or 'tax increase' panic sets in.  No one likes to pay more for something they enjoy.  Hell, I get mad every once in a while when I fill up my Jeep because I know that about fifteen years ago, it cost about a dollar a gallon and not three fifty.  In the days of running the government on a deficit and credit, it would be nice to live in a state that is trying to get ahead of it's own debt and get back into the black.  By all accounts, if the tax hike were to go through, it could raise the cost of beer about two dollars a case.  Buying a pint at the bar would cost an extra seven cents.  At least that is the line that is coming out of the Capitol.

On the other hand, the state brewers and liquor lobby (yes, we have one of those!) are saying that the cost will be much higher to them and to the consumer.  Here's how it breaks down from the perspective of the brewers:   all brewers pay a tax of $4.60 for each barrel (thirty one gallons) of beer they make.  For one litre bottles of spirits and liquor, the makers are charged $1.33 tax.  Wine is also taxed, but varies based on alcohol content.  So the tax for each seems pretty low to me and that is how the brewers would like to keep it.  With the proposed tax hike, the beer brewers would pay $27.75 for each barrel of beer brewed (I couldn't find information on the new tax price for liquor or wine).  Instead of seeing a seven cent per pint and two dollar hike on a case, the brewers are estimating that it would be double that.  So, fourteen cents and four dollar respectively.    

Now this rate hasn't changed since 1987, so it would be a shock to the brewers to have to pay this new tax.  It all comes down to the bottom line for the brewers and how strong their lobby is.  Of course they want to keep the tax rate the same, it means that they have to pay less to sell their product.  If they pay less, they make more.  Business sense says why mess with something that works.  The problem is that everyone has to make sacrifices when it comes to the state wide budget.  This time, it's the brewers that might have to take the hit.  Yes, it is a huge jump going from five dollars to twenty eight, but with them paying so little for so long, it should be time to help out their state.  I think that if the proposed tax was about ten to fifteen dollars less you would see less push back from the brewers.  Both sides would win, the state is still getting more tax money and the brewers aren't getting taxed as much as first proposed.  

People aren't going to stop drinking just because the price goes up.  They might drink less in one sitting or they might go from buying a case of beer a week to a case of beer once every two weeks, but isn't that a good thing?  Isn't it a little bit healthier for us?  These proposed higher taxes aren't going to put brewers out of business, they just won't be making as much of a profit margin as they once were. 

Below is a quote from an article in the Star Tribune written by Baird Helgeson.

“I am against it, absolutely against it,” Joe Mangin, 85.  “The people who like to drink, we are being discriminated against.”

 This brings to mind when Wichita  was deciding on whether or not to go smokeless in bars.  Smokers were up in arms over having to go outside to kill their lungs and save mine.  The main argument was that they were being discriminated against because...well that's just it, there never was a good argument.  Just because a law has been passed or a tax is in the process of being enacted and it affects you and your vices does not mean the government is discriminating against you.  Not being able to drink from a certain water fountain or not being able to marry someone is the government discriminating against you.  Know the difference. 

Bad beer. BAD!

Everytime I see a Bud Light commercial with the catch phrase 'Here we go' all I can think about is 'Here we SHUT THE FUCK UP!'.  I know that it is a popular beer and lots of people enjoy it, but it is just so bad.  Of all the cheap, bad beer (and I have had my share) that I have tasted, Bud Light is pretty much the worst.

Lake rage

While I was at the beer store tonight (cause that's what I do), I saw beer brewed by the company 'Great Lakes Brewing Company'.  I thought ;that's awesome, where in Michigan is it brewed?'  And you want to know why?  It's not because I'm from the greatest state in this country, but because the state touches four out of five of the great lakes.  And seriously, who cares about Lake Ontario? 

Lo and behold, the beer is brewed in Ohio.  To make it even worse, it's brewed in Cleveland.  Cleveland!  Where do they get off?  They're Ohio.  The only great lake they touch is Lake Erie.  Seriously.  Lake Erie sucks.  It's the Ohio of the great lakes.  They don't deserve the company name. 

Even if the beer is great, I won't touch it because the last good thing that came out of Ohio was....well....






I guess that ends this conversation. 

New slogan

I bought some Hamm's this week.  Because I can.  On the can, the following is printed:  'America's classic premium beer.  Born in the land of sky blue waters.' 

I have a new statement for Hamm's (it'll be at the end of the post, skip ahead if you don't care about the rest of this).  Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy Hamm's.  I have discovered a cheap beer that not a lot of people know about or care enough about.  A few years ago (and I mean five years ago), it was Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Now, PBR is popular and the price is on the rise.  Always on the search for cheap, I was happy to see Hamm's appearing in local businesses a couple of years ago and although I will admit to not knowing much about it.  Upon further 'investigation' I found out a little bit about the brand, company, etc.  It's owned by the Miller brewing company now if anyone is interested. 

It makes me a little sad seeing these older beers that have just been enveloped by larger corporations, but that is just business.  You look at beers like Hamm's, Stroh's, Schlitz, PBR, they all started out as independent beer companies only to be taken in (as it were) by larger companies just because it was the only way to stay around.  And that is part of business.  You can't remain a small business.  You won't be able to make money.  It is just easier to make a name for yourself, gain a reliable and faithful fan base and sell out.  That sounds horrible, but that is the way of the world.  Part of the economic world.  In the end, it is the great big dollar that rotates the world.  

On a side note, this was just meant to be a funny, quick, I'm a little drunk, let's write about beer kind of post.  Apparently, there is a little more on my mind.  After all of this, I will leave you with what I thought should be the new slogan for Hamm's beer.  I thought of this because a thirty pack of Hamm's is a few dollars cheaper than Busch, I noticed when I bought it.  Enjoy.  

Hamm's:  So cheap, it makes Busch Light look expensive.

These nuts

Beer for the month of Novembeard is Leinenkugel's Fireside Nut Brown. This is the tastiest winter beer I have come across. Once again, as I have stated numerous times, Leinenkugel's makes my favorite microbrews and this is no different. I was really excited when I saw this flavor in the store and had to buy it.

One more month for the beer a month year. I have been doing okay with it but I have bought more than eleven cases of beers so far this year. We have gone out to other people's houses for parties or dinners and brought beer. I have bought bottles of scotch or whiskey so there has been more than just beer in the house throughout the year but for the most part, I am quite proud of the fact that I have curtailed the amount of alcohol that I have purchased so far this year.

Oktober(fest) in September

For this month, I went out and purchased a seasonal beer for the ninth beer of the year. It is Leinenkugel's Oktoberfest! I have had a hesitant approach to seasonal beers ever since I have branched out from my Coors Light days (which are now referred to as the 'dark time'), but with Leinie's, they have hit the mark every time. Oktoberfest, 1888 Bock, Summer Shandy, and the Fireside Nut Brown are all wonderful changes of pace when they come out throughout the year. The Summer Shandy was the most difficult to get use to because it is real heavy on the lemon, and it almost tastes like a Mike's Hard Lemonade the first couple of times you drink it. However, the beer flavor comes out after you have had a few, so it all balances out.

The other big company that puts out so many seasonal and special beers is Sam Adams, but there are several of their beers that I just have never enjoyed, so Leinie's is what I stick with because it is reliable and extremely tasty throughout the year no matter what type of beer I am drinking.

Quick turn around

After being out until twelve thirty and waking up at five, I've determined that I can no longer have this happen. I didn't have too much to drink, it was just that situation that we have all been in: hanging out with friends. You get talking and drinking and talking and drinking, and before you know it you look down at your watch and it's eleven thirty. You try your hardest to get the check and get out at somewhat of a decent time, especially if you know you have to work super early in the morning. Now, if I worked at eight this morning, no big deal.

*Quick side note*

If I'm a Tampa Bay Rays pitcher, the next time Derek Jeter is up to bat against me, I'm drilling him in the back or the ribs to show him that that is what it takes to get a base. If you don't know the situation that I'm talking about, just move along. Move along. I understand the thought process that baseball players have to get on base any means necessary, but I don't have to like it.

*Side note over*

I have never regretted staying out late and turning around to work the next morning early. The reason being is that I'm amongst friends. I shouldn't say I've never regretted it, because I have had days where I wanted to gouge my eyes out, I have never regretted the times when I was out having a good time with friends or family. And this isn't a situation I put myself in all the time, this doesn't happen every single week (at least not any more).

So, I'll be tired for a good portion of the day, and this is just the start of the weekend. We have two parties to go to, one here in Wichita and one up in Topeka. I'll have a lack of sleep this weekend, but who cares? Once again, if you are with friends, if you are having a good time, if you are enjoying yourself, who cares?





I sure won't, at least not until Monday.

August beer

I am proud of myself for going eighteen days into the month before buying my beer of the month. I don't know if it is something to be really proud, going eighteen days into a month before buying beer, but I'll take it. Now, because I have made it through the majority of the month, I went with just a twelve pack. It's Labatt Blue. It's cans so I can take them to the pool and enjoy them because we are not suppose to have glass there.

July beer

I have cheated somewhat cheated in the beer department this month. I had people over for Canada Day and supplied the beer. I went out and bought a two four of Labatt Blue, but it fell under something of a loophole when I set out on this year long conservation of money and liver in which I stated that anytime I have people over for visits or parties, the alcohol I buy does not count towards my beer of the month. Lame? Yes, but if I didn't write this loophole in I would have bought and drank my beer of the month in less than twenty four hours thanks to some friends that came over to celebrate.

It isn't like this is a law, it is a test of self. Is it possible for me to do this? So far, I have done well. I think anyway. So this month, I bought a twelve pack of Hamm's (go ask your dad about it). It's bottom of the barrel, cheap, watery beer. I enjoy it. It tastes okay, and what more can one ask for? It's not mainstream cheap like Pabst Blue Ribbon or Natty Light. It is on the cusp of cheap fame. So that's it for July. Close to half way through the month and my beer supply is almost gone.

Sixth beer and hipsters

I went out and bought a two four of PBR for my sixth beer for the year. I have been on the PBR bandwagon for about six years now. I cannot claim to have loved it since I turned twenty one, but have enjoyed it ever since I bought it on Mackinac Island in 2004. Why is this important? It's because I don't want to be a hipster. I try not to include myself in this group for the main reason is that I am not smug enough. Hipsters love PBR, thinking that it's the cool beer to drink. I have since moved on from needing PBR to be cool. It was convenient for the time and Schlitz wasn't available in cans.

Schlitz is my favorite cheap beer now and if the hipster movement tries to claim Schlitz as their own, there will be less smugness in the world.

More of the same

Once again, I didn't go to crazy with buying my beer of the month.  I went with another case of Budweiser.  It worked really well for me just because it went well with watching baseball.  Now, with the baseball season in full swing, I felt it was another great move to get some more.  This could become a regular thing throughout the summer months.  It just has happened that Budweiser has been on sale the past two time I have gone to the liquor store. 

I feel no shame, it could be worse.  I could scrape the bottom of the beer barrel and bought some Red Dog or Old Milwaukee.  But whatever. 

Beer four

The last two weeks have been stressful at work and what better way to wash away the stress than going home and having a beer.  Oh wait...I finished my beers for March half way through the month.  BAH!  The first true test of the case a month theory.  It was tough, but I made it through.  This makes me sound a bit of an alcoholic, but I swear I'm not.  I didn't break out into cold sweats, wasn't overly irritable, or withdrawn. 

Normally, I'm all about the quality of the beer that I am drinking but this month I am going with quantity.  The main reason behind this is baseball.  When I watch baseball, whether it is live, at home, or in a bar, I am all about Budweiser.  My friends I go out with on Tuesday nights know me as a Guinness drinker, but when it comes to baseball, it needs to be something light that goes with nachos, hot dogs and peanuts.  Budweiser is that beer for me.  Now, if this were hockey we were talking about, it would be Labatt or Molson.  They just go hand in hand. 

Beer cubed

I went out and bought my third case of beer for 2010 (that's two thousand ten, not that twenty ten bullshit the government wants you to call it. That's right, it's a conspiracy! They have your houses bugged and every time the words twenty ten are uttered, the tapes start in the hope that they will record something. Wake up people!). It is Leinenkugel's spring brew, titled 1888 bock. A bock beer. It is tasty. I didn't know what to expect because I hadn't heard anything on it. Once again, it was a choice of quality or quantity. I must say, it is a better beer than their red beer.

While I was home, my friend Matt convinced me that Old Style is a great cheap beer and I had it in my head to go and buy it. One problem...I couldn't find it. I went to two liquor stores and didn't feel like trekking all around Wichita to find it. I'm sure that some liquor stores close to the college sell it, but those stores have bars on the windows and well...I don't roll like that.

So maybe next time I will scour the city for it.

Hometown bars

In an attempt to make amends for forgetting to talk about hanging out with my best friend Matt on our vacation, I will dive into dives.

Hometown bars. They are the greatest thing ever. Especially if you come from a small town or city. There is just something about being back there in those dark dingy disgusting smokey public houses. The one thing I love about the bars that I go to down here in Wichita is that they are smoke free (mostly). You can go out for the night and wake up in the morning able to breathe. I can handle going out for a few nights and deal with smelling like smoke, but to do so on a constant basis is difficult now. So when we were home, Matt and I went out to the bars a couple of times. It was great. We went out on my birthday and just hung out and caught up.

We hit up Maloney's, the Bomb Shelter, and the Downtowner in the two trips out for the evenings. The Bomb Shelter and the Downtowner are the quint essential small town bars. When we were at the Bomber, there were six people there. Total. That included the bartender. It was quite and just a little smokey, not too bad. A few hours later we went to the Downtowner and it was starting to get busy. The smoke lingered in the air and great music pumped from the jute box.

Maloney's is a nice place to drink and get some food. If you are ever up in Sault Ste. Marie Michigan on your birthday, find Maloney's Irish Pub and you can get a free dinner. Just show them a picture i.d. with your birthday date and you get free food! I didn't get to indulge in the free food this year because we had dinner at home, but you can get stuff like a fish dinner or a steak. There are three or four things items on the menu you can choose from.

Second beer choice of 2010

In January I chose to buy PBR for my beer of the month. It was tasty as always and the reason I bought it was because it was cheap and I could get quite a bit for the month. It's not that I got sick of it, it's just that if I know I am only buying one case or twelve pack for the month, I can ration it all out. With that in mind, why not go with a better beer?

For the month of February, I have gone with Leinenkugel's Red Lager. For the longest time, this beer was the end all be all for me. From the first time I had it I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it more than Killians, and anyone that knows me knows I went through my Killians phase. You can't always say that about the beers you drink. There are beers that I have needed to get use to and some beers I have never enjoyed. IPAs, for example, have never been my favorite. I have tried several different kinds including IPAs that have been crafted at breweries. I have never developed a taste for them. Which is okay. There are many different types of beers I have found that I enjoy, so having one that I don't like doesn't break my heart.

I don't know if this is much of a problem, but the Leinie's only comes in twelve pack form down here. So there is going to be some uber rationing going on. Twelve beers in one month. Of course it can be done.

Quantity or quality

Case number one of the year: a two four of PBR. Now, as I was searching for my first case of beer of the year I had to consider quantity or quality. My fall back beer has always been Labatt Blue. Crisp and tasty. A full head and neck above any other beer I have ever tried, outside of Guinness. The problem is that the whenever it is that I find some Blue is that it is a twelve pack (cans or bottles, both are prevalent here in Wichita), and no two fours. If this case of beer is going to last me throughout the entire month, it won't be twelve beers. Twenty four beers can get me through the month, twelve cannot.

I am going to enjoy this challenge I have set out for myself.

Becoming a regular

After work last night, a co-worker and I went out for our normal after work, relaxation, stress taking away beer at a local establishment. Normally we get there and it is a little busy, but there are still plenty of tables to choose from. It also starts to wind down because it is close to midnight. Last night, however, was different because the college kids are still out for winter break. Before I pulled into the driveway I thought that it wasn't going to be busy because it was snowing (yes, twice in one month!) and most people in Wichita hunker down because they never learned to drive in the snow. Then I turned into the parking and was shocked at the amount of vehicles in the lot. I walked in and found one lonely little table just abandoned and quickly sat. I didn't care if the glasses and ticket were still on the table, I just wanted to sit.

Throughout the course of the hour or so we were there, we had several servers come up to us to basically say hi and thanks for not being douche bag college kids who don't know how to behave or leave tips. This, honestly, was one conversation from a guy who has been our server maybe twice: 'Still drinking Guinness?' You know it. This was BEFORE the beer was sitting in front of me. How great is that? Another server came up to us right before we were ready to leave to tell us how much she hated the college kids and that she couldn't wait until school started again. I am just a few more visits away from claiming 'Norm status'.

We hadn't been there in a little over a month because of the way our schedules worked out at work, so it was nice to get back into the routine and people watch. College kids try too hard to look hip and cool. I don't remember trying to look cool, but maybe I did and just blocked it out of my mind. We mostly get to watch office people drunkenly fall over each other before realizing how awkward it would be if they hooked up and the college kids were a change of pace. They were drunkenly catching up with people they went to high school with and what they had been doing the past couple of years. I did enjoy going back home from school at winter break and hitting the Downtowner or Maloney's and doing the same thing.