Farewell Tours are Bullshit

Retirement is part of life.  You have a nice little party and celebrate your work accomplishments.  And that's it.  You pick a date to retire, tell your boss, and then move on.  You don't make a big spectacle about it.  You don't tell everyone and their brother a year ahead of time and then expect to be lavished with gifts, do you?  I don't know.  I'm thirty years away from it.

In the past few years, I have seen baseball players announce their retirement before the season starts.  Kind of a 'this will be my last year' type of thing.  The problem is, I think that they do it in order to get more attention and praised throughout the year in each city that they visit.  Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter set the stage for selfish ball players to create a distraction for their team as they go to a new city.  I can see doing a little ceremony and a thank you video for transcendent talent like Mariano Rivera.  I mean, the dude threw one pitch.  And dominated.  Jeter, on the other hand, was just good.  He came up in clutch moments, but he didn't dominate the way Rivera did.  Plus, there are better shortstops out there.  These retirement farewell tours are absolute bullshit.  They go to different cities and teams grovel at their feet with presents and hugs and kisses.  Was it just because they were Yankees?    

So it'll be interesting to see what will happen with David Ortiz.  Although it's safe to say that we, as fans of the game, will be force fed farewell tour hype and stories for a player that is not that important.  And we'll see our favorite teams bring him presents.  And it'll be terrible.  I can see making a big deal about it for a transcendent, once in a generation type player.  But Ortiz isn't the only guy to bulk up and hit 35-40 home runs a year and drive in 100+ runs.  Is he good at what he does?  Yes.  Is he a World Series winning player?  Yes.  But then again, so is Quintin Berry.  Does he deserve all the praise he will get this upcoming year?  No.  And I know that most people seem to love Big Papi, but he has always bugged me.  Maybe it's the whole taking steroids (allegedly, but we all know.  We all know) and not suffering any consequences.  Maybe it's because he plays in Boston and his career benefited from having such a short, low right field fence. 

Do you want to know the right way to do this retirement thing?  Hold a press conference, announce your retirement, and bask in the praises.  Do it at or near the end of the year.  Don't be a distraction for your team.  Paul Konerko and Torii Hunter are two recent players that have retired.  At or near the end of the year, they announced their retirement and did not make a big ordeal about it.  

Cover to Cover

You know what's the worst?  When you finish something, and you feel really good about it, and then you start to think of more you could have added?  Well that happened to me a few days after publishing my last post about cover songs.  And I thought about just going through and adding on to the previous post and adding a post published note, but why would I do that when I can come up with just as much content in a second post?  So here we go.  More cover songs. 

Goldfinger:  '99 Red Ballons'.  Originally done by the band Nena, it always sounds so cheerful even though it is sung in German.  New wave music always sounds so fun and happy.  Goldfinger brought a new punk feel to the song, and it's in English.  Except for the third verse, sung in German (awesomely). 

Save Ferris:  'Come on Eileen'.  Another punk/ska band covering an 80s song.  Dexys Midnight Riders, notorious overall wearing band that they were, get overshadowed (in my opinion) by Save Ferris.  Ska will always have a place in my heart from my high school days. 

The Beatles:  'Twist and Shout'.  The Beatles did cover songs?!  Yes.  A few years after the band The Top Notes released the song, the Beatles covered it on their debut album.  The strained vocals of John Lennon, as legend has it, were from recording this song at the end of the session for the album after he had been singing.  It works perfectly.  And if you can't imagine anyone else singing it, we will always have Ferris Bueller. 

Hanni El Khatib:  'You Rascal You'.  You know you've heard this song even if you cannot pronounce this guy's name.  It's been on several commercials over the past couple of years.  The original, recorded in 1931, was done by Sam Thread and has been covered time and time again.  Which seems to happen with songs or music that is that old.  Different artists in different genres have covered this song, which adds to the entertainment of it.  Sure, the song will be the same, but the interpretation of it can make it so much different.  Honestly, when I first heard this version of the song, I thought it was Jack White.  The singing and guitar playing is so similar. 

Nirvana:  'The Man Who Sold the World'.  Originally done by David Bowie, Nirvana famously did this cover during their 'Unplugged' set.  If I had to make a top five list of live performances to have seen in person, Nirvana Unplugged would have to be up there.  A very iconic set.  And when you impress the original artist with your version, you know you've done something right. 

Rage Against the Machine:  'Kick Out the Jams'.  With the famous live line 'Kick out the jams, mother fucker!', you know that if this song were a person it would be moshing clockwise 24/7.  MC5 were met with resistance with that line and were censored for it, but then again it was 1968.  In Detroit.  So you know Rage would love to cover this song.

Take Cover!

The great thing about music is that it is open to interpretation.  Whether you are reading cryptic lyrics trying to figure what they mean or wondering what a song would sound like if it were played by someone else, it's always fluid.  While I was perusing the internet the other day for background information on a band that I have started listening to, I came across a wonderful cover they did. 

Below is a video of the Screaming Females covering Taylor Swift's 'Shake it Off'.  While I am not the biggest fan of Swift, I have always given her credit for writing her own music and playing her own instrument.  That is the main difference between a musician and an entertainer.  Do they write their own stuff or play their own instruments?  That sets them a step above those who do not.  The Screaming Females give an edge to the song.

This led me to think of other songs that have been covered that I enjoy.  Some times covers are good/great or can be just plain terrible.  One fun thing about covers is to hear different styles of the song being played.  It can be mind blowing or underwhelming or just the same as the original.  And there is nothing wrong with that.   

Heart:  'Stairway to Heaven'.  Worthy of being covered themselves, Heart did this cover of this classic Led Zeppelin song a few years back during the Kennedy Center Awards.  The three living members of rock's greatest band were in attendance and appeared to be in awe.  The son of John Bonham, Jason, played the drums during the performance.  How he can keep it together playing the same instruments for the same songs his dad played is beyond me.  I would be a mess.  

Jimi Hendrix:  'All Along the Watchtower'.  When you are as prolific a singer/song writer as Bob Dylan, you are bound to have some of your music covered and redone.  This is the case with 'All Along the Watchtower'.  And holy shit, does Jimi Hendrix make it his own.  Hendrix's version of the song is played so much, that sometimes you forget that Bob Dylan wrote and played it.  That's just a cover song taking on a life of it's own.  That would be like someone taking 'Voodoo Child' or 'Foxy Lady' and playing it so well that everyone needs to be reminded that Jimi Hendrix wrote and performed it. 

Joss Stone:  'Fell in Love with a Boy'.  A take on the White Stripes' 'Fell in Love with a Girl', Stone slows it down and makes it unbelievable.  She did not make the mistake of trying to duplicate the Stripes.  She took it in a different, sexy direction.  Even changing out 'Girl' for 'Boy' in her version.  I admit, that I had not heard this song before last week when I heard it on the radio.  And I was floored by it. 

The White Stripes:  'Jolene'.  Speaking of the White Stripes, they covered this Dolly Parton song and released it on a live album.  I do love me some White Stripes.  More importantly, I love me some Jack White.  Musically, he can do no wrong.  I always thought that the White Stripes could cover the Beatles' 'I Want You (She's so Heavy)' or Zeppelin's 'When the Levee Breaks' and would do them both justice. 

The Fugees:  'No Woman, No Cry'.  A spin on Bob Marley's song, they move it from Trenchtown to Brooklyn and update some of the lyrics.  On the back end of 'The Score' (one of the most important records in the past thirty years), it brings a calming effect to a tense, politically aware album.  The final track on an album is just as important as the first, and I think that this is one of the best last tracks. 

Honorable Mention:

The Gourds:  'Gin and Juice'.  Yeah.  That 'Gin and Juice'.  I have no idea what Snoop thinks about this cover, but it is just great.  This is an example of taking a song from one genre (rap) and taking it to a genre where it doesn't belong.  I don't exactly know where I would classify the Gourds.  Country maybe?  At least this song is country-ish.  It makes me smile every time I hear it.  When we lived in Wichita, we would go out on Thursdays (because who needs to be productive on Friday?) and it use to be a karaoke night.  The guy that ran it, occasionally played this song before getting the evening going. 

Dishonorable Mention:

Aerosmith:  'Come Together'.  I have never been the biggest fan of Aerosmith, so that fact makes it easy to shame them.  They covered this Beatles song and it missed the mark for me.  If you are going to cover a band as monumental as the Beatles, it better be a great cover.  This one isn't.  I talk about making a cover your own when you record, and Aerosmith did so.  Unfortunately, they made it terribly their own. 

Thoughts From a Deer Blind

I spent the last week in Michigan in an effort to provide food via hunting.  I have been able to get back home in the fall the past several years in order to do so.  Last year, I was unsuccessful.  The two previous years, I was.  Harvesting deer is down in Michigan, especially in the Upper Peninsula.  There are several causes, one of the main ones is the weather.  The past couple of winters have been harsh on the deer herd as it kills off many of the yearlings.  That's just how it goes.  Circle of life and all that.

When you sit out in the woods for hours at a time, by yourself, your mind has a tendency to wander.  Mine does at least.  Other than watching the wildlife around you, you have to keep your mind occupied.  I thought what better way to help pass the time than to write down some thoughts as they came to and transcribe them here.  I just thought it would be fun. 

• squirrels and blue jays give zero fucks about being seen or heard
• I think I'll grow my beard out a little bit this winter
• If deer were carnivorous, they would rule the woods because god damn are they quiet.  They're like woodland ninjas
• Huh.  I still get 3G out here
• This is better than watching the Lions
• What was that noise behind me?
• Ten more minutes, just ten more minutes (mornings)
• I could easily sit here all day
• badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! (here's a link if you don't understand)
• no sun, set slower (evenings)
• everything in your peripheral vision is a deer until you look and see it's just a leaf
• fucking rain
• fucking porcupine
• no matter what, I'm having a better week than you
• is Gary Larson dead?  (turns out, no)
• move slowly
• steady hand
• slow breath in and out
• safety off
• right behind it's shoulder
• steady hand
• exhale 
• squeeze trigger

 So this year, I was successful.  I got a deer a few days before I left.  Not a monster deer, but big enough so we won't starve this winter.  Hopefully next year I will be able to go back and get another one.  A bigger one would be nice, but I won't be too greedy.