Your Child Runs Your Life, Not Mine

I have seen this article linked by a few people on social media.  I read it, re-read it, and thought, what about those of us who do not have kids?  I'm not going to yell and kick and scream about how horrible this article is or if it offended me (it didn't).  It is a nice piece of writing, there is some good advice, but I am going to write a few things about what parents should not say to non-parents.  I one hundred percent realize that the article comes from a website that is all about being a parent.  Everyone needs their own community.  I have plenty of friends and family that are in the midst of growing their family, and I support their decision to do so.  But there are those of us who don't have kids, and to be quite honest, I have gotten to the point that I just skip right over social media posts that are two paragraphs long revolving around your children.  Sorry (not sorry).

When are you going to have kids?  I have heard this question many, many times since we got married.  Not everyone wants kids.  Not everyone can have kids.  How bad would you feel if you asked one of your friends this question and they broke down into crying hysterics because they were unable to conceive?  Wouldn't you feel like a complete asshole?  We have never really wanted to have kids.  And like I have said in the past, our thoughts on children might change down the road, but for right now, we do not want kids.  We are happy being child free.  We can make plans to go out for dinner and be in the car in two minutes.  We do not have to herd the brood of offspring just to go out to eat or see a movie.

Do you not like kids?  Just because we do not have kids does not mean we do not like kids.  I have one nephew and three nieces.  I love them all very much.  We have friends that have kids and they are great.  Just because we do not want to have kids right now doesn't mean we do not like them.  Granted, there are times when I cannot stand kids.  For example, they run around the store I work at grabbing glass vases or crawling over the furniture.  I do not blame the kids for that, I blame the parents that are not paying attention to their kids.  

Don't you want to know what is going on with my child?  No.  Keep that personal stuff to yourself.  I don't know how others feel about this, but I do not want to know about your child's bowel movements.  Or their ability to shit so much that it leaks out all over a car seat or their clothes or your clothes.  I do not want to know that your child has learned to use the toilet.  I do not want to know about your blocked milk ducts or your pumping regiment. 
 
Could you not swear around the children?  I do my best not to swear a lot when kids are around, especially when they are old enough to repeat words.  If you have a newborn laying on the floor like a sack of potatoes, do not expect me to say 'darn' instead of 'damn'.  Do not censor me.  One great thing about not having children is the fact that I can swear without dealing with consequences.  Take, for example, a phrase that is spoken frequently in our household.  'Fuck you A.J. Pierzynski you fucking piece of shit.' (It is said more often than you would think.). I did not have to double check the room like your co-worker that's about to tell a racist joke he heard from his racist uncle to make sure a child did not hear me say it who would then go on to repeat those wonderful, wonderful words in school.  I know not every parent changes their vocabulary when they have kids, but to be told not to say things like 'damn' and 'shit' because your children are like little parrots, that's not my problem.  Like I said, I watch my language when I am around kids for the most part, I don't need someone else to do it as well.

42/120

Bounce Back?

Hopefully the darkest part of the baseball season is behind the Detroit Tigers.  After a miserable month of baseball and a horrible series that saw their top two pitchers get knocked around by the Kansas City Royals, they seem to have righted the ship for the moment.  Maybe all it took was a few days in second place and everyone that is interested in the sport to question what the hell was happening to the team that was predicted by most to make it to the World Series.  After salvaging one of the four games played against the Royals, the Tigers slunk away from Detroit to play against the team that seemed to have sent them on their month long downward spiral:  the Cleveland Indians. 

As many fans recall, it was a sweep at the hands of the Indians that started the Tigers' month to forget.  At the series start, I was hoping for at least one win of the three game series (optimistic, no?).  And what they came away with made me very happy, a three game sweep.  But more importantly, the Royals were also swept at the same time.  The tables turned and the Tigers reclaimed first in the division for a little bit.  There are still issues that need to be addressed.  The bullpen is still giving up runs and throwing too many pitches.  The starters though, were firing on all cylinders for at least one series.

Is this the turning point?  Can the Tigers bounce back from a horrible month and start to create space between them and whatever team is in second place for the rest of the year?  We are closing in on the halfway point of the season.  While you don't want to put the team on cruise control early on, it would be nice to see more than just a two or three game lead.  I would prefer five or six (not too greedy is it?) game lead heading into the second half of the season.  They have a tough series ahead against the Rangers, but on the flip side to that, they do play the Astros right after that.  Then, the series that every fan of the sport should be interested in:  a three game set against the Oakland A's.  The best team in baseball right now.  They come to Detroit and nothing would be better than to take the series from them.

The next ten games for the Tigers should tell the fans more about them.  Can they continue in the right direction after the sweep in Cleveland?  Can they forget about the month that was?  Can they defend Comerica against the unwashed mass that is the Oakland Athletic baseball club?  I surely hope so.  That would be a statement series win.  Only then will I truly believe that the Tigers are going the right direction.

41/120

All Things Wrong

Over the past three weeks, the wheels have not just fallen off for the Detroit Tigers.  The axles broke, the transmission dropped, the windshield has shattered, the door handles rusted off, and the windows won't roll down.  It has been just bad.  I do not have information on what or why it has happened, it just seems that all teams go through funks during the season, but with the Tigers' hot start to the season it seems to be under a larger microscope.  I am currently watching them play the Royals (who have been the best team in the game over the past month [I think anyway] and they have shown it so far).  They are being outplayed, outhit, and outpitched by the Royals so far this series and for the first time since July 2013, a team not named Detroit Tigers is in first place (Kansas City Royals have a half game lead).  So what has happened? 

All the superstitious fans point to the Zubaz craze that overcame Detroit earlier this year.  After finishing a sweep of the Boston Red Sox at Fenway Park, they left the park in full Zubaz gear.  Everyone was hyped, they got a little bit of revenge for last year's ALCS and everything was hitting on all cylinders.  Then they got swept out of Cleveland.  CLEVELAND!  At the time, I thought that it was actually a good thing because it would show them a little humility, but it has gone downhill since then.  Since their sweep of Boston (18 May), the Tigers have gone 9-19.  They have given up double digits runs six times, been shutout three times, and have lost five of the series that they have played.  Over the past month, it has been like watching the Tigers in the 2006 World Series. 

During this stretch of horrible play, the main culprits appear to be the pitching staff.  Not only the bullpen, which was suspect at the beginning of the season, but the starters as well.  The Royals put a hurting on the top two pitchers of the Tigers (Verlander and Scherzer) this series, but it hasn't been just this series.  The two pitchers that are suppose to strike fear into the opposition were both chased before the end of the sixth inning over the last two games.  In the games that I have been able to watch, the starters have struggled.  High pitch counts, not hitting their marks over the plate, and a general air of defeat hangs over the mound even at the beginning of the game.  Over the past month, it has been like watching the Tigers in the 2012 World Series.

All the blame cannot just be focused on the pitching.  The batters have not been doing their part either.  They have flat out disappeared.  When a team goes on a winning streak, it always seems like the batters lead the charge.  From top to bottom, the hitters all click at the plate.  Whether it is deep home runs, or plain ol' base hits, winning streaks rely on the hitters.  The Tigers do not have that right now.  One or two batters could be swinging hot bats, but if you don't have the other seven or eight guys doing the same thing, it will amount to nothing.  Over the past month, it has been like watching the Tigers in the 2013 ALCS.  

I have no rational answer to the struggles the Tigers are dealing with right now.  I want to burn all the Zubaz clothing right now.  That's where I'm at.  It's one thing to have a few bad breaks here and there in a game or two, that is part of baseball.  But when you see bad breaks every other game for the duration of a month, there are no answers for it.  Someone in the organization must have broken a mirror while walking under a ladder and kicking a black cat all at the same time for this month of baseball.  As a fan, I will grin and bear it because I remember 2003.  I remember what it is like to have a real horrible team.  This is just one bad month. 

40/120

Change on the Horizon

Manifesto (noun):  a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives, as one issued by a government, sovereign, or organization.

When I started writing back in 2005, I wanted to title this something fun and catchy.  I was fresh out of college and adrift in life.  I hadn't gotten a job yet, I had just moved down to Kansas, and I was just around.  I don't remember exactly how I came up with the title 'My Own Manifesto', mainly because it was so long ago.  And it isn't some sort of crowning achievement.  It just rolls off the tongue so easily.  Anyway, I have decided to move away from the title.  There are a couple of reasons for it, but there is also a big problem with it.

If you, for some reason, are unaware, we in America currently have a big problem with guns and gun regulation.  Some call it an epidemic.  I really don't know what to call it.  I will just call it an issue that needs to be addressed.  Anyway, there have been several mass shootings that have gained national attention recently and after it is all settled and is investigated, it seems to come out that the shooter(s) have a manifesto in one form or another.  Whether it is online or written on their computer or actually handwritten (who does that anymore?), it comes out that they have some weird manifesto.  They cover some fucked up shit and have really scary ideas and thoughts.  I don't want that.  That is not why I titled this blog in that way.  The word has become tainted to me.  And who wants their writing to be associated with that?  Sure, you can search the word 'manifesto' on the internet and find all kinds of fucked up things, but I want to distance myself from that.

But here is the problem, I don't know where to go from here.  Yes, I know how to change the title, they make it so easy that someone like me can change it, but I don't know what to change it to.  I've actually been contemplating this for a couple of months.  Racking my brain trying to come up with a title.  Something that is both fun and something that encapsulates this blog.  However, I have a few ideas of where to go from here.  Don't fret, the URL is going to stay the same so you don't have to try to find this all over again.  But does that really solve the problem of being associated with crazies and their manifestos?  Not really.  So this just a band aid?  Yes.  Yes it is.  But whatever, I'm not all techy and whatnot.  I did some research to see if there was a way to transfer all my info and old posts to a new blog without losing it all and couldn't find anything.  So if there are any tech savvy readers out there that want to throw some ideas my way, I would not turn them down.  

Hang tight, dear readers.  Hopefully soon I will overhaul this blog.  Plus, it's always exciting to shake things up a bit.  The facade needs an uplift and it is time.  And who knows, maybe at year's end, I retire this blog and start up a new one.  

39/120

Be There for Them

Do you ever pay attention to the billboards on your commute?  Some are useless.  I pass one everyday that shows what song is currently playing on a local country music station.  Some are meant to invoke curiosity.  There is one on my commute put up by the Wyoming state tourism bureau.  It has a couple of buffalo and Old Faithful spouting in the background.  There are local college billboards, local business billboards, and radio station billboards.  None of them really distract me, I glance at them and zip pass them.  There is one, however, that always catches my eye.  In huge words on the top of the billboard is 'Be there for her.' and it shows an adult male with his young daughter.  Below the people is the words 'get a colonoscopy'.

My family, on my dad's side, has a history of colon cancer.  As I got older, the subject within our family became more prevalent.  Mainly because my paternal grandfather died at an early age of cancer.  As with any disease, it all comes down to genetics and is passed down from generation to generation.  It's not something to be proud of, obviously.  I don't remember hearing 'and guess what kids?!  When you grow up, you're prone to cancer!  It's all part of your heritage!'

When I was living down in Kansas, I told my doctor about my family history with colon cancer, and I was in my mid-20s at the time, and he said not to worry about it until I was in my 40s.  Because that is right around the age when men without a family history should start to get tested.  I looked at him and thought 'Seriously?  Have you seen this family history?'  Shortly thereafter, we moved to Minnesota and my new doctor looked at my family history and I told him that my dad's doctor said all of his kids should get a colonoscopy by age 30 to get a baseline.  He agreed.  Simple as that.  It helped that his family also has a history of colon cancer.  He understood. 

So, two years ago, shortly after my 30th birthday, after much berating from my mom, I got a colonoscopy.  I say berating in a loving manner because it seemed like the day after I turned 30, she was telling me I had to get one.  I knew, I just had to plan it out with work and all that fun stuff.  I took a few days off of work.  It came back clean.  I did not have any polyps and I was cleared of having another one for five years.  That's how easy it was.  It put my mind, my wife's mind, my family's mind all at ease.  

Here is a link from the American Cancer Society with some facts about colon cancer.  Some scary facts are that 50,000 plus people are expected to die from colon cancer in 2014.  Roughly 130,000 people are expected to be diagnosed with colon cancer in 2014.  This disease is very preventative and treatable if you take the time to deal with it.  Just like any other disease, you have to be aware of your family history.  You have to be aware of your heritage.  You have to be willing to deal with it.  It's an uncomfortable topic, but if you have a family history of colon cancer (or any cancer/disease), get tested.  Get over your fear of having a scope inside of you for a short period of time.  It's better to have that than cancerous polyps in your body.  Am I right?  Of course I am.    

38/120