Career of Most Importance

As we neared the end of our college years, my wife and I decided that whoever got the best job, no matter where it was, that was where we would move.  That is how we ended up in Wichita, as she got a job a few months out of college.  With nothing but hope and anxiety we moved.  It worked until she was laid off as a result of the economic down turn.  Even then, it was decided that if she found a job, no matter where, that was where we would move.  It will always be easier for me to find a job working in retail.  With her specific degree and training, it is a little more difficult.  We moved to Minnesota in the hopes that she would find a job in her field as we are in a much bigger metro area.  Well, she found a job, but not exactly in her field.  

Whose job is more important? 

The main impact for importance is normally money.  Who makes more bank?  As long as both parties are working, does it really matter who makes more?  I don't think so.  When we were down in Wichita, my co-workers jokingly referred to my wife as my sugar momma.  She made more than I did, but it was all in good fun.  I would always fire back with a 'don't be jealous that I know how to pick them' type remark.   Fun was had by all.  We have contributed equally to our relationship.  We have both had jobs since college, living what is considered the real world.  By the way, if we had known this is what the real world was like, would any of us have wanted to graduate college?  I think we are passed the age where the man is always going to be in charge of being the sole bread winner.  Husbands and wives are going out into the workforce and sometimes the wife makes more.  Yes, yes, I know all about the wage discrepancies between men and women, I am just stating that both genders are out in full force in the working world.   

You can look at the 'more important job' in a different light as well.  Which job has better health benefits?  Which job has a great retirement plan?  Which job provides benefits and discounts?  You know, the important things that exists outside of the work environment and the paycheck.  I would think that the higher paying job would correlate with better benefits, but there might be instances where it is not the case.  Money is always going to be made, it is the perks and benefits that can really distinguish which job is more important.  And that is because life outside of work is more important than work itself.

What it all boils down to is that as long as both jobs are enjoyable, that is what is important.  Lame, I know.  Like, greeting card lame.  But if you are not happy with your job, and you have an opportunity to be happy, is it not important to get to where you are happy?  That doesn't mean quit your job because it sucks right now or this week or this month, that means that maybe it is time to start looking.  Look for what you feel strongly about or what you are passionate about.  Those are the types of jobs that are important.  

 24/120

Jersey Worthy

My wife asked me the other day, if I were to have a jersey with a player's name on it, who would I want.  Of course, I thought way too much into it.  One thing I thought of was the fact that jerseys with player names on them are hella expensive.  The 'authentic' jerseys run in the two hundred dollar range.  Even the replica jerseys (roughly $100) are expensive.  What the difference is, I don't know. 
One thing you can get is a personalized jersey.  Instead of picking from the top names on the team, you can choose from most of the other players.  Which is nice, but still expensive.  I was just looking on the MLB website.  I'm sure you can go around the interent and find it all for cheaper.  

You don't want to invest that type of money into a jersey if the player is only going to stick around for a couple of years (Prince Fielder anyone?).  I have more important things to spend money on.  If money were not an issue, I would have no problem buying a jersey with a current player's name on it.  There are some safe bets on the team.  If I am buying a jersey, and it has a current player's name, I want that player to stick around for a while.  Make it look like it was a good idea to buy the jersey.  Which is why, if I ever were to buy a jersey, I would go with a player that is retired.  One of the greats of Tigers lore.  Maybe look to the Tigers players of my youth (Trammel, Whitaker, Parrish, etc.) or go with Hall of Famers (Kaline, Greenberg, Gehringer, etc.).  

Until the day comes when purchasing a jersey is a good idea, I'll stick with my tee shirts with player's names on them.  They are much cheaper.  

23/120

In Defense of One and Done (sort of)

Big name college basketball programs will always thrive.  Programs like Duke, Kansas, North Carolina, Kentucky are always going to be able to draw the big name recruits.  No matter how well or poorly they are doing.  They are going to draw those big name recruits because they have what it takes to play at the next level.  And good for them.  Not everyone has the skill to play a professional sport.  And for some, it is a way to get out of a bad situation.

Several years ago, in an effort to prevent high school players from skipping college and going right to the NBA, the 'one and done rule' was put into effect.  Essentially, all high school basketball players must have played one year of college basketball before entering the draft.  So, these big name college programs recruit top players even harder because they know they will have them for just that one year.  So while they thrive on having these top tier players, smaller mid-major programs are left in the dust when it comes to recruitment.  But that helps them out.  

This year, college basketball watched Wichita State University run the table.  They entered the NCAA tournament undefeated.  They lost yesterday to Kentucky.  One of those one and done top tier college basketball programs.  The slight on Wichita State was that they didn't play anyone tough.  Well, after last year's run to the Final Four, instate rivals Kansas and Kansas State wouldn't schedule them.  And why not?  Because the coaching staff has developed the players.  They have developed a group of young men to play basketball at a higher level than what is expected of them.  And while the big schools will get the better players, the smaller schools can be the better team because of maturity and cohesion.

Because these smaller schools can make names for themselves in the tournament, this is the only reason I am in favor of the one and done rule.  As historic as it would be to see the top tier schools put out back to back to back championship type seasons, it's always fun to see the small schools step into the spotlight.  Who remembers George Mason?  What about Virgina Commonwealth?  How about Florida Gulf Coast last year?  They were just kids having fun playing the game they love.  The list goes on and on.  Eventually, one of these smaller schools is going to get on a run at the right time and shock the world and win it all.  Everyone will yell and cheer.  And granted, the big name schools are still going to make it to the tournament every year, but I like the Cinderella stories that come up every March.  Even if they do destroy the brackets of every single person.  


22/120

D.I.N.Ks Unite!

In an attempt to write more, I am using a set of cards with conversation starters on them to write about new topics.  The first post like this was well received, so this feels like something I will be using for the foreseeable future.  Plus, this gets me to write about things I might otherwise think about writing about.  So, onto the next topic.  Shall we?

Is there a reason to get married if you don't intend to have children?

For the most part, I think that when people get married, one thing that is discussed is children.  How many to have, when to have them, what to name them.  I am sure that the list goes on and on.  If the couple is super crazy, they start discussing school districts before even conceiving.  That's just part of being married isn't it?  Procreating.  You grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, retire, die.  And pay taxes the entire way.

But what if you don't want to have kids?  My wife and I have been married for just under seven years.  All the while, we have talked about not wanting kids.  It's not that we hate kids, it's just that right now we aren't in a place to have them.  Who wants to have a newborn baby in a one bedroom apartment?  I mean, the closet is big enough for a crib, but where would we put our clothes?  I kid, I kid.  Don't yell at me.  Right now, we are enjoying being D.I.N.Ks (double income, no kids).  Who knows, maybe after we get into a house our tune might change, but for now it stays as it always has been:  no kids.  But we knew, going into our marriage, that we didn't want to have kids.  That didn't stop us from getting married, and I don't know if that should stop anyone from doing so.  

Is there a reason to get married if you don't plan on having kids?  I first saw this question and thought it was absolute bullshit.  I didn't marry my wife because we did or didn't want kids.  I married her because we love each other and committed ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives.  Not because our focus was to start procreating.  Besides, you don't have to be married to have kids.  Just throwing it out there.  Kids tend to be a byproduct of marriage.  You get married because you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.  You get married to enjoy life with someone else.  Kids are secondary.  I'm sure that there are people out there that want noting more than to settle down and have kids.  Others, like us, want to focus on ourselves first.  It's good to get a few years under your belt as a married couple.  Get into the habit of being an actual adult.  In the real world.  With a married partner and a job.  You don't need to have kids when you are married. 

Just like with everything we do in life, you have to do what makes you and your partner happy.  If having a bunch of kids makes you happy, then don't let anything stop you from doing so.  If you want to spend the rest of your life traveling around the country and don't have to worry about the kids burning the house to the ground, don't have any kids.  You can still get married even if you don't want to have kids.  I don't understand where this notion comes from?  Is it because this is what we grew up seeing?  Our parents and extended family having kids?  So that must be the norm, right?  It might be a generational situation as well.  I suppose you could look at censuses from the past sixty years to check the trend of married couples having children and if there is a pattern.  

21/120

Trapped in the 'Burbs

I'm taking a break from writing about baseball for just a moment to talk about the fact that suburbs have a lack of great restaurants.  At least the suburbs that I live in and are nearby.  I was talking with a co-worker about eating at restaurants every once in a while because by the time we get home from work, no one feels like cooking.  You don't have to cook after work, but you feel like that is part of the daily life cycle.  Wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, relax, sleep, repeat.  If you live close to established neighborhoods or districts, there tends to be restaurants that are not chains.  As nice as it is to know what kind of quality meal you are going to get from an Olive Garden or an Applebee's, part of the fun is exploring new restaurants.

So, back to my co-worker.  Her and her husband live in a neighborhood in St. Paul that has developed over the years with local shops and restaurants.   During our discussion, she talked about how in the spring/summer, they just ride their bikes to restaurants or bars.  How nice for them.  We have to drive everywhere.  Not very convenient.  While they dine in actual neighborhoods, we are stuck in strip malls and urban sprawl.  To say it's disgusting is a bit of an understatement.  She talked about all the options and different styles of restaurants that were close by.  And I died a little inside.  This is why I don't really want to live out in the suburbs.  To find cool restaurants, you have to travel into the cities (insert dramatic organ music).  We have no problem going into the cities if we want to, but it's a matter of timing.  After working all day long and then commuting home, who wants to get back in the car and deal with traffic?  Just for a meal?  I shouldn't say we don't have restaurants that aren't chains, but we have been to them all.  A couple of times.  They aren't exciting anymore.  

Whenever we do make it into the cities, we make a day of it.  Whether it is early in the day and have lunch or an early dinner, we try new places.  Places we have never been or heard of.  Places that at least have beer on tap.  Until we move (and hopefully somewhere near none chain restaurants), we are trapped in the suburbs and will feast on Olive Gardens, Buffalo Wild Wings, and the like. 

20/120

Prenuptial Co-habitation

I don't remember when or where, but we ended up with these cards called 'table top topics' that have statements written on them and they are meant to start conversations.  I'm going to use these for writing topics because I live a boring life and don't have a lot to write about.  Except sports, I do enjoy sports.  But I don't want this to be specifically about sports, I want more than that.  There are a wide variety of topics on these cards ranging from relationships, financial, sex, values.  Plus, these topics could be great for actual conversations.  So here's the first one.  Enjoy.

 'Is it a good idea to live together before marriage?'

I want to write about my own experience first.  My wife and I have lived together ever since our sophomore year of college.  So, 2001.  Thirteen years we have lived together.  It was cheaper to live off campus, even with the cost of bills for food, trash, electricity, etc.  We didn't live together year round because we went back home for the summer, but for the most part, we shared a living space.  Nine months out of the year.  And we have always lived in apartments because of financial reasons.  Whether it is because we were in college, just starting out, or reeling from her being laid off, we have always rented.  Which sucks.  So not only have we lived together, but it has always been in close quarters.  To say there is little privacy is a vast understatement.  We both want to get into a house and make it our own, but we don't want to go into debt doing so.  We want to be smart about it.  Home ownership is another beast all on it's own.  

Living together before marriage allows you to get those bumpy years out of the way.  Little arguments that can put a stress on the early years of marriage can be hashed out while you are not burdened with the real world.  Who wants to deal with arguing over who cooks and cleans while also having to worry about work?  No one I know.  In our case of living together in college, we had that to fall back on.  We were both full time students so there was very little time (outside of weekends) where we were just sitting around staring at each other.  And even during the weekend, we were engrossed with school work.  We had different schedules so there were times when we were both at home, both at class, or one of us was alone.  And that being alone part is crucial.  It gives you time to cut back and relax.  To walk around naked if you were so inclined.  But it was always nice when the other person came home.  It was like playing husband and wife before we actually were husband and wife.  

Living together before marriage also allows you to set up routines so when you do get married, normal life awaits you.  Oh sure, there is the honeymoon period where being married is new and exciting, but if you have lived together, there is already stability.  Personally, I like routine.  I like stability.  When watching shows where people are buying houses before living together, I cringe a little bit.  My mind goes to the 'well, what happens when you break up or your marriage falls apart' place.  Dark, I know.  I don't always have a happy outlook on life.  If your life falls apart because you didn't know things about your partner's living style and that is what put all this stress on your relations, you are now stuck with this house and mortgage.  That would just straight up suck.

To counter all this talk about stability and routines, isn't part of the early years of marriage and living together is the fun and excitement of finding out about one another?  To which I say, true statement.  It is part of growing up and learning from each other.  And it can be fun at times.  It can also be stressful and scary.  There are times when you probably just want to yell and scream at each other because of the stuff they do around the house.  The stupid shit (as you see it) that they have done each and every day around the house just another thing that they do in their eyes.  And vice versa.  Getting to know each other and their living style after marriage is fun and exciting, but you can learn from each other even after living together.

19/120

Pre-cursed

It has happened again.  Just like last year.  ESPN has gone and cursed the Detroit Tigers.  This article was posted this weekend.  I don't know how other Tigers fans feel about it, but being one who is superstitious, this does not make me happy. 

For the longest time, I worked under the assumption that there was an 'ESPN curse' on the Detroit Tigers.  What this includes is the following:  each and every time the Tigers seemed to play on the network, they came up on the short end.  And it wasn't just close games, or fluke plays, the games were just awful.  I mean AWFUL. 

Just when I thought the Tigers were cleared of this ESPN curse, this article comes out.  This is just horrible timing.  I don't even know how to handle it. 

*Takes deep breath*

I think I might be okay.  Also, baseball season is getting so close.  I can almost hear the crack of the bat.  And it is glorious. 

18/120