Best of 2013

I have had this blog going for nine years now.  Longevity is key for me when it comes to writing this.  I don't really care how popular this is, in fact I think I get most of my traffic via Twitter and Facebook, so the majority of the people that read this I know.  It's funny to look back at the very old posts and see that there was only a handful of viewings and now on average it's between thirty and forty.  So thanks for the support!  I never thought that it would get me famous or become this phenomenon.  I just wanted to do this because I enjoy writing and this is much more condensed than keeping a journal (plus, this isn't the 90s and I'm not in middle school).  I think that it has helped me become more aware and vocal to issues that either affect me directly or that I feel are important.  Anyway, here is my third Best of the Year Compilation!  

January:  GUNS!
February:  Baseball Bucket List
March:  Be Responsible, Dammit!
April:  Beer Tax
May:  Sports Introvert
June:  White Guy Honors Native Americans
July:  Erick Erickson:  Worst Person in the World?
August: The Keurig Conundrum
September:  Looking Back
October:  Too Much of a Mediocre Thing
November: Time For Change.  Time For Opportunity.
December:  Gradual Snow

The Christmas Post

*Author's note: I wrote this back in 2008 and I have since made it my Christmas Eve or Christmas day post. It is simple and makes it easy for me to say that I at least wrote something for the holidays. Enjoy the day everyone. Be sure to keep the television off as long as possible and love being with family and friends.*

We are watching A Christmas Story right now, and there is nothing better in this movie than the nostalgic feel of the Christmas morning scene. More than the kids ripping apart the wrapping, it is the expressions on the faces of the mom and dad. Just the joy that they have watching their kids.

As much as people think it is all about the Red Rider BB gun, the movie is more than that. It's about family, more than anything.

• Idolizing the father
• Having a life long understanding with your mother
• And the fighting with your brother

And the final scene of the mom and dad relaxing with the Christmas tree alight and the snow falling at night.  Magic.

Gradual Snow

This is the third year we have been living in Minnesota.  We have seen three different types of winters.  As long we avoid a Kansas type winter, I'm okay with whatever snow we end up with.  Three inches of snow followed by two days of rain to melt it all away is not good.  And then it gets cold enough to turn the rain to ice but not snow.  How can you be all happy and merry around Christmas time when there is nothing but dead grass and piles of grey snow in parking lots?  

The first year was a bit of a disappointment.  We barely had any snow and was one of the warmest winters in recent memory.  I am under the assumption it was the Weather Gods punishing us for moving away from Kansas.  'You miss winter?  That's cute.  Here's three inches of snow.  Suck it!'  At least that is what is going on in my mind and how I saw them teasing us. 

The second year was more like it!  We got hammered a couple of times early on in the month of December.  Seeing a couple of days of eight to ten inches of snow each time.  It was never ending.  Many people would end up complaining about all the snow by the time it was all melting, which was in March.  Luckily, it was all gone by Opening Day for the MLB season.  

This year, so far, has been gradual snow.  Two to four inches here and there every couple of days.  Nothing that shuts the city down, but enough to clear your car off in the morning.  It's a nice way to ease into winter.  We are all but guaranteed a white Christmas (barring a heat wave that is going to come out of nowhere) now.  It's not as much snow as we had last year, but the ground is covered and the snow drifts are piling up.

Winter, as I have said in the past, is my favorite time of year.  I have just always loved the cold and the snow.  It mostly has to do with growing up in the U.P.  If you aren't hearty enough to handle five months of snow (I'm not kidding) you aren't worthy of living in God's Country.  I was spoiled living there and it wasn't until we moved to Kansas that I fully understood that.  I did live in the Detroit area for the first eight years of my life, but I don't full remember the winters there.  So I don't remember if we had three feet of snow or three inches.  Regardless of how much, I just love having snow on the ground during the winter months.  

More On Driving

I wrote yesterday on how best to traverse winter roads.  Let's take another look at winter driving, but this time on what not to do.  I think that it goes without saying that if you do the opposite of what I suggested in my last post that you are a bad winter driver.  Well, bad might not be the best word.  Inconsiderate might fit the description a little bit better.  Here are a few things I have seen while driving the roads that you should not be doing.  And if you are, please stop.  You are making the commute dangerous for those of us that want to get where we are going.

Clear off your windows.  All of them.  You live in Minnesota where winter and snow are yearly occurrences.  If you don't have a brush for the snow, you either just moved here from a warm climate area or are a complete moron.  I've seen people going down the highway with their back window still covered with snow.  Side windows are great to use in passing when you look over to check your blind spot.  If you do that, that is. 

Along with the windows, you should also do your best to clear off the snow from your roof and hood.  The snow blowing off your roof doesn't phase you as much as the people behind you who have to drive in a lazy bastard induced blizzard.  Along with the snow from your roof, the snow from your hood can fly up on your windshield making it difficult to see.  Don't be lazy, clear off your car as much as possible you ass. 

Four wheel drive doesn't work on ice.  That is all.

Pass in a timely manner.  The last thing I ever want to do is sit in someone's blind spot for too long.  Be considerate.  I've seen it happen far too often when the person getting passed forgets that it is happening and starts to pass another person only to finally look over and then swerve back into their own lane because someone is taking their time passing.  And then the other person swerves and then all hell can break loose.  Don't be that guy/girl.  

All in all, you can't fix stupid.  I would like to think that people would be more considerate of others when it comes to driving, especially when the roads can be dangerous. 

Winter Driving

We had our first real winter weather in Minnesota last week.  It was a mixture of rain that turned to ice and snow.  This, of course, means that all of that ends up on the roads and makes driving a little difficult.  In fact, last Wednesday was the first day of this weather and it took me an hour to get to work.  Usually, it takes about twenty five minutes.  Slow going because of the weather.  I was prepared for it and left early enough to get to work on time.  Because I was prepared, I didn't have any panic moments on the road where I saw myself as being late for work and therefore I didn't drive like an idiot.  That, however, is not always the case.  People are not always smart when it comes to winter driving.  Here are a few things that I think everyone should take into consideration when driving in the winter weather.

Leave early (duh).  Morning commutes in metro areas are always suspect.  One day everything could be hunky dory and you could get to work in record time.  The next day there could be a huge accident and you roll into work an hour late.  And that isn't always in the winter.  Get up early enough to check the commute reports via the television or local radio stations.  Or, check out a map app on your smart phone.  Google Maps usually has a pretty accurate time frame and has up to date info on road conditions.  It shows where there are stoppages or accidents or lane closures. 

Slow down and know your roads.  If the roads are snow covered, you don't know what is under that snow.  It could be nothing, it could be ice.  The last thing you want to do is speed up to pass someone and end up in the ditch because you spun your ties and lost control.  Also, you need to know your roads.  Take the same route each day.  You'll know the conditions of the roads ahead of time and you'll know if you need to leave early because of said conditions.  With that said, also use the highway or main roads if possible.  Cities focus on main roads first and then go to side streets.  That is where the majority of traffic is so that is the first priority.  Even though everyone else takes those roads, you should too.

Space everything out.  One thing that irritates me is people that tailgate on the highway.  I admit, I have done this before as I'm sure everyone else has.  In the winter I cannot stand when people do that.  If there are three or four lanes, why not use them?  There is no point in following someone so close that you cannot see their back wheels.  Plus, that leaves room for the people that want to get into the lane that you are in.  It's a courtesy thing.  This also applies when changing lanes.  I, for one, prefer to stay in the lane I'm in if the roads are not in the best of conditions.  There are going to be times, however, when you need to change lanes.  I like to change lanes on straightaways.  It's much easier that way.  You don't have to worry about a curve or a hill.  I don't cut out in front of people.  The last thing you want to do is cut someone off causing them to slam on their breaks and cause a chain reaction of people slowing down all because you were impatient and didn't want to wait for that one last car to pass you.  When getting over to the new lane, don't do so right after someone passes you unless they are just flying down the road.  There should be plenty of space then.  

Look, after reading this does it make me sound like the person everyone hates driving on the highway?  Yes.  I like to be cautious, but I also don't drive forty miles an hour down the highway.  I drive for conditions.  I drive smart.  I drive smart because not everyone does.  

Source Material

I finished reading the 'Walking Dead' graphic novels earlier this month.  Well, not all of them.  There have been a handful that have been published since I got the set I have.  Either way, they are straight up amazing!  The first graphic novels I have ever really wanted.  I wanted them because of the television show.  I wanted to see the similarities and the differences.  I read 'The Watchmen' after seeing the movie and enjoyed it as well.  Graphic novels are basically grown up comic books that make you sound not like a little kid when talking about them.  But here's the thing with graphic novels or any other written material, they can go a bit further than you can with a television show or movie.  That's the nice thing.  The Walking Dead is so much darker as a graphic novel set than the show ever will be.  And I love it.  But here's the thing, because you can't be as dark on television or movies, the show/movie developers have to make changes.  Which can be a good thing, but also a bad thing.  And it's up to those who have read the original source material on whether or not to make a big deal about it.

The first time I remember finding out a book and movie had different things happen was with 'Jurassic Park'.  I saw the movie when it came out a couple of times because it was only two dollars back then.  Yeah.  TWO DOLLARS!  I loved the movie and even today it is still entertaining.  I read the book a few years later and was dismayed at the differences.  I just didn't understand why the book and movie differed.  Over the years, I have come to the decision that the book was better than the movie, but when I first read the book I was a little pissed about it.  I didn't quite understand that the book came out before the movie.  How do you fully explain source materials to an eleven year old and how a movie and book can have different events happen in them?  

During the seasons of The Walking Dead, I have had these thoughts go through my head like 'Well that's different from the books.' or  'That didn't happen to that character, it happened to someone else!'.  Sometimes the changes are irritating and other times I look at them as they are for the best for the characters or story lines.  There are two major differences from the books to the show that always sit in my mind and both have major impacts.  Don't worry, these aren't major spoilers.  The first is that the character Daryl from the show doesn't even exist in the books.  At all.  In the show he is a major character in the main group and has become a fan favorite.  He is an overall badass.  The other difference is that the character of Rick is disfigured in the books.  It is a major setback for him but so far in the show it hasn't happened (and who knows if it will!).  I like these differences from the books and show, but have read rumblings about the disappointment of others on the internet.  I say who cares?  The main story is still going and that is what should really matter.

As long as the main story is intact, than who cares about some of the details?  I have learned to enjoy some of the changes from original material to new a format.  If anything, it can make for a great conversation.  You can talk about the similarities and differences and how that helps or hinders the overall plot.  Original material can be hard to transition from book to screen.  With books, there can be great narration for pages and pages (see Hemingway, Ernest or McCarthy, Cormac) that just flat out cannot be made on the screen.  Beauty can be captured on the screen, but not all the time.  At times, it is best left on the pages. 

Black (Thursday) Friday Rant

Listen.  I understand the reason for Black Friday for retail companies.  I get it.  It is important for them to start making their profit and margin for the year.  What I don't understand is when did it become okay to infringe on their workers' day off?  With Target, the store was closed three days a year.  Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.  Those were days I always looked forward to because it was a guaranteed day off.  A day to spend with family or to go to church if you are religious.

It use to be that stores opened early in the morning on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  Retail workers maybe had to get to the store by midnight in order to get everything organized for the madness that would happen some hours later.  It was fun for a lot of people, even some of the workers.  But it was after the holiday.  The workers had time with their family.  They were able to get a good, midday drunk on while watching football while waiting for dinner.  Drinking and eating with family.  You know, what the holiday is suppose to be about.

Instead now, workers are torn away from their family because greedy retail stores try to one-up each other by opening earlier and earlier in the day.  Some stores this year are opening at six o'clock, others at eight o'clock, and even more at midnight.  Several years ago, they early morning openings were moved to opening at midnight.  I was okay with it.  Technically it was the day after Thanksgiving and hence 'Black Friday'.  It all went downhill from there.  From midnight to nine o'clock to now six o'clock.  So the one problem is that the workers are getting taken away from their family time and those who have to set up the store have to be there in the afternoon.  Before the first football game is over, they are off to work.  They do not get to have dinner with their family.  They do not get to enjoy dessert.  They have another day they have to go to work.  To deal with people who are going to be really excited to treat the employees like shit while they rush around the store wondering why the super cheap item they wanted sold out three hours ago because they were pretty sure they were the only person in the entire city that wanted it.  And so on and so on.

One of the major problems I have with the new hours is that the people that are making the decisions probably aren't going to be in the stores with their minimum wage workers.  Do you think the CEOs of these giant retail chains are going to be running around and checking in on their stores?  I think not.  If they do, bully for them.  But I would still drop kick any of them in the teeth for making this decision because they put money before people.  The people that bust their asses for a paycheck.  They bust their asses so they can pay the bills.  They bust their asses for the cheap insurance.  And for what?  To have one of the three guaranteed days taken away from them?  What the fuck is that? 

One more item on this topic.  Non retail workers listen up, because this is for you.  This is all your fault.  You are the problem here.  If you sit around talking about how horrible it is that the retail workers have to work on Thanksgiving, you need to be the solution to this problem.  Start petitions.  Start campaigns against these companies opening up on Thanksgiving and ruining a family holiday. 

Right now, I am so happy to have left my previous job for the one I have now.  Granted it is still a retail job, but the CEO has come out and publicly stated that he feels that Thanksgiving is a holiday to be spent with family and will not open before the day after.  THAT is looking out for your workers. 

Re-read recap

Last November, I decided to take this year and re-read some of my books.  They had been collecting dust over the years and thought that as long as they're there, I might as well enjoy them again.  Isn't that the point of keeping them?  Along with the list below, I read the Walking Dead graphic novels.  They have put together two compilations for the entire series so far.  It was a nice change of pace from the novels I read.  So here's a breakdown of what I read over the past twelve months:

• The Old Man and the Sea
• The Killer Angels
• Diary
• Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour:  An Introduction
• Franny and Zooey
• The Zombie Survival Guide 
• Prison Writings:  My Life is My Sun Dance
• Nine Stories
• 44 Dublin Made Me 
• Jedi Search
• Dark Apprentice
• Champions of the Force
• Gone for Soldiers 
• The Dharma Bums
• Skeleton Crew
• Survivor 
• On The Road
• The Catcher in the Rye

This makes me happy on several levels.  One, I read more this year than last.  Two, these books are re-read for a reason.  I enjoyed then when I first read them, I loved them when I read them again.  I have, since I first read it in high school, loved The Catcher in the Rye.  It has been my favorite book ever since.  Slowly closing the gap, however, is 44 Dublin Made Me.  I have not read many memoirs, but for whatever reason this one gripped me when I first stumbled across it in a second hand book store down in Wichita.

The Star Wars books I bought while in middle school and high school.  I have about a dozen books at my mom and dad's house.  I'll eventually get them all back to Minnesota, I just don't have a ton of space right now.  I have really embraced my nerdy past recently and I'm loving every minute of it. These books are easy reads which are something everyone needs to have in their book collection.  Easy reads feel like a reset button to me.  They remind me of why I enjoy books and reading. 

I got to the middle of August and started to regret my decision to do this.  Right around the time I was reading 'Gone for Soldiers'.  Mainly because I started to collect a ton of books that I really, really wanted to read.  But I made it a point to read nothing but books that I had previously read and I stuck to it.  So I made it through the year of re-reading.  Almost twenty books in the year.  Quite a change from last year's six books.  Now, on to the stack of books that have been calling my name for the past four months.  

Too Soon....Too Soon

This has been a reoccurring theme for the past two years for me as a writer, but because I still see it as an issue, it demands to be repeated.  Christmas is for December!  I have seen people on social media posting pictures of their Christmas decorations (you know who you are) and trees.  All too soon.  It was the day after Halloween that I saw the first picture/status/tweet go up about decorating for Christmas.  Listen, I understand that people like to decorate for holidays and get excited for them.  I like decorating for holidays too.  Christmas is my favorite holiday.  I like to listen to the music while putting up the tree and decorating too, but not in November.  Especially the first day of November.  I have a strong 'no Christmas decorations until December' rule that I live by.

It is easy to want to put up the Christmas tree in November when it is an artificial one.  You don't have to worry about the needles falling out or keeping it watered or having live critters (sorry for the Scandinavian subtitles on the link) coming out of the woodwork.  We always had a real tree for Christmas growing up, so we had to wait to put it up because you didn't want to have bare limbs by Christmas morning.  We got our first artificial tree living down in Wichita for two reasons.  One:  it was on clearance when we purchased it.  Two:  real trees were hella expensive down there.  I don't know if you all know this or not, but Kansas isn't well known for it's trees.  I mean, sure, they have one or two around the state, but not a ton to pick and choose from when it comes to Christmas trees.  And the trees that are for purchase were cut down so long ago, that no matter how much water you put into the tree stand, it wouldn't last.  Despite the fact that we have an artificial, our tree never goes up before December first.

Who wants happy winter decorations before the snow falls anyway?  Looking outside right now, it is sunny (but cold).  The grass is transitioning from green to brown.  The leaves are all off the trees.  It looks like fall out there.  Fall.  Not winter.  The snow on the ground and trees makes everything look pure and happy.  That is when you want to put up the decorations.  Once the snow is on the ground to stay.  One problem is that there is no full on holiday in between Halloween and Christmas in which people can go all out with decorations.  You can decorate for the fall, but it is just a bridge between the two major holidays.  Sure, you can decorate for Thanksgiving, but how many cornucopias can you put up in the house?  

The retail industry is definitely a root cause to this problem.  It seems that the minute Halloween decorations are being sold in stores, there is a small section of Christmas as well.  Usually in the back corner somewhere, but then it starts to creep.  Slowly gaining more and more space as October turns into November.  It spreads like a zombie virus.  Before you know it, you are hearing Christmas music playing in all the stores.  On November third.  The long three day transition from Halloween to Christmas is complete.  

Am I going to go around and tear down people's decorations because they feel it necessary to decorate in November?  Absolutely not.  To each their own.  If you feel that you cannot make it the entire month of November without putting up decorations, that's your problem.  Am I going to ridicule them for it?  Quite possibly.  Especially if they are good friends and they know my stance on the situation.  My question to those who decorate so early:  how long does it take to get use to them being up?  How long until your decorations don't make you stop and look at them?  When do they become just another fixture on the wall that you stop noticing? 

Time For Change. Time For Opportunity.

On 17 November 2013, I will complete my career at Target.  Seven years and nine months.  My first post college job that started as a desperate reach for money and employment and ended up being the start of a retail career.  Retail is not what I went to college for, but this is the hand I was dealt.  My mom once told me that retail was in my blood.  I don't regret the college path I took, I only regret not being able to find a job in my field after college.  This job introduced me to many people and I made some great friends along the way.  But here's the thing, nothing was wholly wrong with the job.  So why the change?

I could have worked for Target for the rest of my working life if I wanted to.  A solid company that will probably never go away.  I had found my little niche in the food world of retail.  I worked with food vendors every day (which had it's pluses and minuses), I settled into being the 'food guy' at work, I knew the ins and outs of food safety and how best to drive sales and make it profitable.  All the information I needed to run a successful grocery department was in my head.  But therein lies the problem.  I found myself occasionally not being challenged at work.  It became too much of a routine that wasn't always fun.  The excitement and newness eventually wore off.  A safe job as everyone needs food.

So if it was such a safe and secure job, why leave it?  Challenge and opportunity are the big things.  I needed something more.  Something different.  Something new.  And the job I found, I think will give me that.  Once you reach the point when you no longer feel challenged at work, how long do you hold onto that job?  If you are comfortable in your job, by all means, stay there.  Especially if that is what you want to do.  Me?  I never thought of retail as a career so I feel more flexible and willing to move on when I want to.  When I first started looking around at other employers, I did look at actual grocery stores.  I looked at the local chains and even Trader Joe's.  I sent out applications, but was rejected by them all.  I hit a low point, feeling defeated.  If I couldn't get a grocery manager/assistant manager job with over seven years of experience, what would it take?  

It was a steady job, but there are only so many times you can listen to 'You're a great worker and a strong leader.' just to see the advancement opportunity go to someone else because they are more of a yes man than actual leader that gets their job done.  You can only work your ass off for so many years to see little ground gained in the opportunity and development departments.  You can only watch so many bosses get recruited right out of college not prepared for the retail world and watch them flounder through it, much to your stress and patience.  I had gotten to the point where I want to do more with a company, and I tried several times with Target to do more only to have been turned away.  So I gave up on it and accepted my role within my store.  Again, a moral defeat.  However, I eventually took that defeat and turned it on it's head.  If I'm afforded the opportunity to work somewhere else that will help me develop into something more right out of the gate, what is keeping me at my current job?  The security blanket of being a large company.  That was about it. 

I accepted a job with World Market over this past weekend.  Is it still retail?  Yes.  It will be quite a change of pace from Target.  Not as busy, but I will be able to spend more time working on developing an area into a profitable one.  Own your area is the phrase that was thrown around at Target, but as busy as the days were, it was tough to do.  You can't be in your area when you are running around the store plugging the holes in the dam.  A smaller company and smaller store can afford me that time to do so.  Going from a company that has almost 1,900 stores to a company that has close to 300 might sound like a bad idea, but opportunity to grow with a smaller company is something that I was looking for.  Ideally, I would go work for an independent store just because it would be the ultimate 'own what you do' experience short of owning your own business.  

Sometimes you need to look at opportunities and take a leap.  If you don't take that leap, you might look back and think 'what if....'.  Change is a scary thing.  This change could be the best thing for me down the road, but it could also be a mistake.  I wouldn't ever know if I sat on my hands and didn't leap.  Don't let the fear make your mind up for you.  Take that step.  Don't fear the unknown, embrace it with open arms.  It might be the change you were looking for.  

Too Much (of a Mediocre Thing)

Let's take a moment to realize one true fact:  football runs the sports world.  The NFL.  College football.  Even high school football.  All three of these are shown on television each week.  For both college and NFL, games are broadcast on numerous days.  College games are usually shown Thursday through Saturday.  The Thursday and Friday games are one or two games at a time with the majority of the games being played Saturday (almost sun up to sun down).  The NFL has a game on Thursday, all day Sunday, and Monday.  While the majority of the country loves this, but to me, it's too much of a thing that is okay at best.  You can't do much with the college programs having football teams, well you could, but then the kids would have to go to school based on academic basis rather than athletic ability.  Luckily, I have a few ideas and opinions to help out the NFL.

Get rid of the Thursday night game.  There are two problems with this game.  The first is that the teams haven't been very good or the games have not been good.  There have been blow outs and defensive battles (also known as offensive struggle games).  Now, I know that the schedule is made before the season and you cannot predict how a team will do from year to year, but here is a list of the teams and the final score from the Thursday night games so far this season:

• Denver/Baltimore (49-27)
• New England/NY Jets (13-10)
• Kansas City/Philadelphia (26-16)
• San Francisco/St. Louis (35-11)
• Cleveland/Buffalo (37-24)
• Chicago/NY Giants (27-21) *arguably the best game so far*
• Seattle/Arizona (34-22)
• Carolina/Tampa Bay (31-13)

Not too many games that would make me want to sit down for three to four hours to watch.  Now, the fans of these teams are going to watch the game, but what about the casual fan?  Is someone in Minnesota going to watch the 49ers blow out the Rams or a fan out in Seattle watch the Panthers steamroll the Bucs?  I don't think so.  Granted none of them are my team (Detroit Lions), but I have watched games that were not being played by Detroit.  With the exception of one or two of these games, I would not watch these games.  The second problem with the Thursday night game is that the game is broadcast on the NFL network.  The NFL network is a channel that you have to pay extra for if you want it with your cable.  We have it right now because we got it as part of a special package with our cable provider, but I could care less if we have it.  We also have the MLB network and the NHL network which makes me SO happy.  Paying a lot for cable is a whole other topic for another day, but if every other football game is broadcast on network and cable channels, why would the NFL put one game on their network?  

Stay out of London.   Starting in 2007, the NFL has played at least one game in London.  While this had been well received when it was first started, I feel that the uniqueness of it has really worn off.  Between 2007 and 2012 there was just one game played in London, so it was special in that way.  However, this year they will be playing two games and next year there are three games scheduled.  There are games slated in 2015 and 2016 as well.  It is hard to get a good read on how the players and coaches feel about playing over there because when they are interviewed, they need to be upbeat and positive for the sake of the game and the league.  How would the players feel about playing for a team in London all year.  Eight weeks out of the season they would have to travel back to the United States in order to play a game.  The other eight weeks, other teams would have to fly to London.  I have not done any international traveling, but I would think that going back and forth like that would put some wear and tear on your mental state.  With time zone changes and jet lag being a major factor, I would think that players and coaches would get sick of it real quick.  

Earlier this week, Roger Goodell talked about expanding the NFL with a team in Los Angeles and London.  Los Angeles I understand.  Los Angeles has had a team in the past.  A couple of teams actually.  The Rams were there (1946-1994) as were the Raiders (1982-1994).  The Rams packed up and moved back to St. Louis while the Raiders moved back to Oakland.  Again, I don't understand the need or want to have a team in London.  Having a team move back to Los Angeles is no problem.  I'm sure the NFL can take a look at attendance and television ratings and whatever else they look at and they could make that decision.  There has been plenty of talk since the two teams moved away from L.A., but they moved away for a reason.  How long could the city sustain a team there?  Would they be looking at moving away in another fifteen or twenty years again? 

Addition by subtraction.  Are thirty two teams necessary?  Are seven draft rounds needed to fill out a team's roster?  Historically speaking, how many seventh round draft picks make it on an NFL team?  I know this idea would not go over well with the NFL because it would mean less teams and less money, but the product would be better.  And that idea is to get rid of two teams.  Go from thirty two to thirty teams in the NFL.  So why would they want to do this?  It would make their games better.  It would make the games better because the teams would be better.  The teams would be better because there would be a smaller talent pool to choose from.  Because of the smaller talent pool, the better players would make the teams.  The NFL season is half over right now and there are two teams that have yet to win a game:  Jacksonville and Tampa Bay.  It doesn't matter what year, there always seems to be the bottom of the barrel in the NFL and different teams find themselves there at different points of their franchise history.  For example, the Lions in 2008 did not win a game.  It was terrible.  Now, they are an okay team with glimpses of promise.  Several teams that were playoff teams last year have losing records this year so far.  So you cannot base what team to get rid of based on their record, but you would have to look deeper into things like television ratings and financial gains.  It would not hurt the brand by getting rid of two teams.  In fact, it would enhance the sport. 

Conversations and Monologues (pt. 3)

Look, if you don't understand what is going on by now (there have been a couple of previous posts like this one), then scroll through the archives.  There isn't the largest audience for this blog, so I'm sure you follow these posts.
---
'Well you have to be good at something.'
'I fucked two sorority girls in one night.'
'That's nothing special.'
'They were sorority sisters and their rooms were right next to each other.'
A slight pause.
'Okay, that is something special.  But I mean outside the realm of fucking two girls in the same house, what are you good at?'
'I can't really think of anything.'
'Didn't you go to college?'
'Just because I went to college doesn't mean I'm good at something.'
'You didn't graduate?'
'Oh no.  I graduated.  But there is a difference between GPA and IQ.  A high GPA means you have a great attention span.  IQ means you are actually smart.  Having a high GPA just means you studied and did well on tests and the such, that doesn't mean you are smart.  You can take all that Cum Laude and Summa Cum Laude shit and shove it because out in the real world, GPA don't mean a damn thing.  I have the IQ, I didn't have the GPA.'
'I would think that having those honors would get you interviews and jobs at highly sought after places.'
'Those Cum Laude motherfuckers are the ones that get the best and everyone else is left with the scraps.  They sit there in their corner offices and sneer at us and our lower paying jobs.  Doesn't mean those people getting those interviews and jobs are any better at it than I am.  It just means they think they're better than me'
---
'You know what I think the most American image is?'
'Bald Eagle.'
'Big Mac.'
'Apple Pie.'
'No.  No.  And No.  Bottled beer.  Not those short fat bottles or those eleven and a half ounce bottles, I'm talking long necks.  Twelve ounces of glory.'
'I don't know man, that's kind of a hard sell.  Especially when there are so many other options out there that represent this country.  You know, think about the Bald Eagle flying through the Iraqi skies getting ready to drop a bomb from it's talons.  It doesn't get more American than that!'
'Murica, fuck yeah!'
Laughter.
'I'm serious about the bottled beer.  What goes great with bottled beer?  Grilling.  Which is also a great American past time.  Think back to your childhood when your family had a cook out.  You know, grilling hot dogs or burgers.  You and your brother out in the backyard playing catch.  What was your Dad drinking?  Sure as shit wasn't some microbrew that was made with fruit and tannins.'
'I think tannins are mostly in wines, dude.'
'Shut up.  It was something like a Budweiser or a Miller or a Schlitz.  It was a long neck bottle with condensation running down the side because it was so fuckin' hot out.  The clear glass bottle and you could see the foam at the top.  It was the sound and the smell of the grill.  It's something to look back at and think to yourself "This is what I want to have when I grow up."  That's why when it comes to grilling season, I buy long neck bottles of beer.  I like to have that connection to a nostalgic time when there wasn't a thing to worry about.'
'That's quite the speech.  But your burgers are burning.'
'Shit...'
--- 

Bombshell

That didn't end well now did it?  The Tigers' season came to an end last week against the Boston Red Sox.  While I'm not happy about the Tigers not getting to the World Series, at least they didn't lose to a lesser team.  If they had lost to Oakland, I would have broken a ton of stuff.  Boston was the team this post season that really scared me and I had hoped Tampa Bay would have beaten them in their series, but that is not what happened.  Let us move on, shall we?

The pain of the loss in the ALCS was just leaving my body when all of a sudden my twitter timeline exploded with news of an upcoming press conference by the Tigers.  I had a little bit of a sinking feeling as I knew what was going to happen.  I knew that Jim Leyland was not going to be the manager for the Tigers next year.  I did not anticipate the manner in which he was not going to be the manger though.  I figured that the organization would not be renewing his contract.  I did not expect him to voluntarily step down.  Either way, I will miss Jim Leyland.  For a couple of different reasons.

He was the right man for the job when he was hired.  While I wish Alan Trammell had a better shot as a manager, looking back everyone should have known he was set up for failure.  It is much like whomever manages the Houston Astros for the next six years or so.  He protected his players which is what any good manager should do.  He got the team on the right track and kept them on that track. 

He could weather any storm.  Once the Tigers reached the World Series in 2006, the bar was set.  The postseason was an expectation, not an anomaly.  Each losing streak.  Each lose to a lesser team.  Each end to the postseason.  He answered all the questions angrily but answered them nonetheless.  He was an open and honest manager and let his feelings be known.  

He loved the organization and city.  If you need any proof for his love of the city of Detroit, go look up any postgame interview after a playoff series win.  For someone as old and gruff and grumpy as Leyland is, you would not expect him to get as emotional as he did.  He loved the players too.  Sometimes a little too much.  DON KELLY!

For all the things Jim Leyland did right, he also did things that made every single Detroit Tigers fan shake their head or pull their hair out.  Sometimes he got inside his own head and over thought even the smallest thing.  The biggest issue was dealing with relievers.  While he let the starting pitchers work through a rough stretch of batters, he had a quick trigger for the relievers.  Anyone that ever thought that the Tigers should have fired Leyland during his tenure was not a true fan.  Managers go through tough spots just like the players and we as fans have to be patient while they work out whatever their problems were.  

Anyway, my wife asked me yesterday who I think the next manager for the Tigers should be.  Honestly, I have no idea.  There are plenty of names that are being thrown out there.  I don't really want to think about it right now.  I'm sure the organization will make the right call on who the next manager will be.  If not, we'll all yell and scream about it.  Like we have any say in the matter...

Delayed Columbus Day Post

I was on vacation the last two weeks so this post is a little late, but whatever.  I chose to spend time with my family instead of writing about a subject that can make my blood boil.  Deal with it. 

Over the years, I have gone from being straight up angry about Columbus Day to being just sad about it.  Not crying on the couch in the dark because of something, but sad because everyone has read the history books about this guy and what he and his men did to indigenous people.  The information is there and still we have Columbus Day.  The information is there and still it's a federal holiday.  All the information is there and we as a country have done NOTHING about it.  You don't want to beat a dead horse, but if there were an Adolf Hitler Day or a Pol Pot Day or a Joseph Stalin Day, how quickly would there be a movement to end that day of observation?

Instead of being full out angry about this holiday still being around, I would want to educate people about it.  Educate people about the atrocities that not only did Columbus perpetrate when he came to the 'New World' but what other explorers did.  Look at the Spanish Conquistadors.  Killing.  Maiming.  Raping.  It's all there.  You don't want to drop this knowledge on little elementary school kids, but I think that high school kids could handle the facts.  I never had this education in high school.  I was never given the facts in school, but I learned about the facts by reading real history books.

The best thing you can do about this holiday is to get the facts.  Once you learn the facts, share them!  Yes, it is good to be angry about this being a holiday.  But don't get sucked down by the anger and dragged into the mud.  Be above that.  Be better than that.  Spread the facts because educating the masses is the best way to fight stupidity and ignorance. 

Onward!

The Tigers survived the Oakland Athletics again this year.  For the second straight year, the Tigers and A's met in the first round of the playoffs and the series went a full five games.  The A's are a solid team top to bottom and anyone in the lineup can hurt the opposing team.  They've scared me both years despite the Tigers being favorites in the series because they play sound baseball.  Kind of like the Twins of the early to mid 2000s before they settled back down to the bottom of the Central.

 After this hard fought series, they have to turn around and face the best team in the American League, the Boston Red Sox.  The Sox were the darlings of MLB once they broke their curse close to a decade ago.  Then they won it again a few years later and everyone thought that it was nice.  Then they became entitled.  Then they became a team and a fan base full of douchebags.  Now I know I'm not the only one that feels this way about the Sox so I don't feel bad about saying it.  Sadly, I feel that if the Tigers win a few World Series titles, the team and fan base may go down that same road.  IF that happens, and I come across a Tigers fan that has that sense of entitlement about going to the post season and to the World Series, all I want to do is scream '2003!' and walk away.  Remember your roots and be humble people.  Even now.

This upcoming series, the Tigers offense cannot disappear like they did in the Oakland series.  I know the past two games have been great and I hope that they have sparked the batters out of their slump.  The pitching kept the A's from sweeping the Tigers so I don't worry about them (and watch, they'll collapse) while the offense struggled through the first three games, let's not kid ourselves.  They cannot (CANNOT!) struggle against the Sox pitching because it will not be pretty.  The Sox are a far better team than the A's.  I am even more nervous about this series than the last one. 

My heart says the Tigers in six.  My brain says something else, but I don't always listen to my brain.  That's how smart I am. 

Go get 'em Tigers!

Disc Adventures

I went out and played disc golf today for the first time in a few months.  It was fun.  Granted, it was more fun when I was playing with a few friends down in Wichita, but what are you going to do?  This is the second disc golf course that I have played since moving up to Minnesota.  One thing that I have noticed about both courses is that they cover open fields as well as trees.  In Wichita, the trees were mainly just amongst the open fields, few and far between.  Here, however, is different because there are actually trees in which a course can be worked around.  Trees are infuriating when playing.  Discs have a tendency to find the trees.  Whatever.  Stupid nature.  Anyway, here are a few pictures I took today.  Just because.

 Basket seven was five hundred and sixty feet from the tee.  I thought that was horrible until...

 Basket eight one upped basket seven by fifteen feet.  These two baskets put a hurting on my elbow.  I suppose if I threw more this would not be an issue. 

 This is the first mandatory right (or left) I have seen since playing down in Wichita that had three baskets right by the road. 

Basket number ten I believe.  Nice and open...with the exception of all the damn trees that were right down the middle.  Incidentally, this is where my discs went. 

There was plenty of this at all the tees.  Not exactly classy, but I think I would rather see this as opposed to trash on the ground or graffiti on the actual trees which is a common problem at disc golf courses. 

Basket number twelve.  Two huge trees right in front of the tee.  Not cool man.  Not cool.     

Overall, it was a nice and relaxing afternoon.  I just listened to music and threw.  An afternoon out in the fresh air does a person good.  Especially when it is not too hot. 

Cautiously Waiting

We have completed the regular season of baseball!  Now it's time for the excitement as we enter the post season.  I want to say I am confident in the Detroit Tigers after they won the division again this year, but I just cannot.  To say that they have been playing poorly lately is a bit of an understatement.  The offense has once again disappeared however the starting rotation has been keeping the games close.  They will be playing Oakland again this year and Oakland is peaking at the right time (which is mostly what the post season is all about) and this scares me.  They have gone 7-3 over their last ten games whereas the Tigers have gone 5-5. 

I cannot stand when the Tigers play out in Oakland.  It isn't even the time change that bugs me.  It's the little things that can make all the difference.  The fans are moronic and borderline frat boyish, the stadium needs to be condemned, and I'm not going to lie I just don't like the players.  I've looked at their roster and I cannot find one player that I like.  They will be playing a best of five series and if they lose in the first round, I will be heartbroken.     

At the beginning of the year, I wrote a post with my prediction on how the AL Central would end up and this is what I came up with:

• Detroit Tigers
• Kansas City Royals
• Cleveland Indians
• Chicago White Sox
• Minnesota Twins   

This is how the Central actually ended up looking like:

• Detroit Tigers
• Cleveland Indians
• Kansas City Royals
• Minnesota Twins
• Chicago White Sox

 So not exactly the most accurate of predictions, but the only one I got right is the one that matters.  Hopefully the Tigers can magically flip the switch as the calendar turns to October, but I am cautiously waiting to see what happens.  

Needs and Wants

While I was working over the past weekend, I overheard the following conversation in the Halloween section of the store:

'Dad, I need this color hairspray for Halloween this year.'
'Don't you have some of that from last year?'
'Yeah, but I need this one this year.'
'Whatever, just throw it in the cart.'

No.  No.  No.  No!  This child did not need this color hairspray, they wanted it.  I don't have anything else to really write about it.  But there is just so much going on in just that little conversation.  You have the kid being really annoying.  You have the dad collapsing almost instantly instead of telling his kid no.  You have the parent enabling the child and not teaching them about responsibility to use up everything you have before actually needing to go out and buy something new.  Something you already have in your house.

Don't get me wrong, this helped out my store because it drives sales and profitability so I guess I appreciate this father's inability to stand up to his teenage child.  But it's the principle of the matter.  Maybe it's because of where we live (people live and love to show that they have money) or because I see this quite a bit in my store, but this is not a one time thing.  This is not an anomaly.  Maybe it's because we have been watching our spending over the past year so everything we buy we have to take a moment to think 'do we really need this?  or do we want it?' 

Fall is Here! Also: Fall is Here?

It is the middle of September.  The colors are starting to change on the trees.  Football started.  School started.  It's a great time.  Winter will always be my favorite season of the year.  I have always loved the snow and nothing will ever change that.  Spring use to be my second favorite season mainly because that meant baseball was starting soon.  Yeah, it has nothing to do with the weather.  This fall has made me remember that this season is pretty awesome too.  Sometimes.

We are having such a strange fall so far.  As September starts, one usually thinks of cooler temperatures.  And we have had that.  It's been getting down into the forties and fifties at night and it has been GLORIOUS!  One thing I don't like about summer is not being able to sleep because it is too hot.  Granted it happened for just a week or two this year, but still it was horrible.  Plus, with the fall temperatures falling, you don't have to run the air conditioner, so you aren't spending money.  So this week has been awesome, but last week was hot.  We ran the air conditioner non-stop for about three days.  

So we've had up and down weather this month and it just seems wrong.  Once you resign yourself to the fact that it's going to be hot, you can move forward.  Then all of a sudden, it's in the fifties and you are digging out your jeans and sweatshirts.  Once the weather makes up it's mind, everyone can go about their business.  Right now, you have happy people and mad people because of the weather.  The people that want to cling onto the summer are starting to get mad because they are losing their season.  The people that want to move into the fall are starting to get mad because their season keeps going on week long sabbaticals.  Then you have the people that just don't care.  The people that are indifferent to the weather world.  Personally, I fall into the category of wanting the fall to come.  Being someone who loves the winter, cooler temperatures make me happier.  Being hot and sweaty isn't my thing.  I would rather bundle up with a wool coat and hat than sweat in a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. 

Also, the fall means that it's beard growing out season.  So that's exciting!

Scott Walker: Man of the People...For One Day....Kind Of.

So.  Scott Walker.  We need to have a little chat.  Come here.  *Quietly whispering*  Dude, Labor Day is around because of unions.  I don't know if you want to really tweet out Happy Labor Day because, you know, you hate unions. *Walks away*

Happy Labor Day!
— Governor Walker (@GovWalker) September 2, 2013

Not only did I link his tweet, but I want everyone who reads this to read the replies.  Click on the time and date link to see the replies.  Most people that read that tweet understand the irony as they should.  I don't know if he fully understands what Labor Day is all about.  I know that now it's all about summer ending, one last barbecue,  and another sale on furniture.  My favorites were just the ones that said 'fuck you' or something along those lines.

How does he think that was a good idea?  Does he not understand what or where this holiday comes from?   Did he just give the responsibility to some little intern and they thought that it would be a fun little game to play?  I don't know.  I think that with holidays like this one or Memorial Day were established so long ago that people forget why they are around.  They forget that while these holidays do mark the beginning and end of summer, there is a history to them.  And if you are going to be a public figure and do things like break unions, you should probably just stay away from holidays like Labor Day.

Scott Walker isn't an idiot just because of this tweet.  He is an idiot in general. 

Looking Back

If I were able to go back in time to college age me, I would have a great discussion about what I was doing well and some things that I would tell myself to change.  I thought about this because right now, we are in the midst of back to school time at work.  Tons of angry people upset because the store is out of some school supplies as the schools around Minnesota are starting their school year.  Who waits until the weekend before school starts to get their kids' school supplies is all I want to ask.  Young adults, and sometimes their parents, are coming into the store a little less stressed because they aren't all getting crayons and glue, they are buying furniture and lamps.  Throughout the past month, I have seen people with carts full of stuff that I know that they don't really need.  Now, granted, they could use them, I have no idea.  Personally, I know I would not use them.  It got me thinking on some other things that I did or didn't do in college that know I kind of wish I did or didn't do.

Stay in the freshman dorms!  When I was signing up for college, I listed my top three or four dorms I wanted to stay in.  Now, being eighteen, all I could think was 'I want to be with the upperclassmen, fuck those other freshmen.'  And what happened?  I got into the upperclassman dorm.  Was it better?  Yeah, because the rooms were a little bit bigger.  I only had two roommates.  But that's about it.  I didn't care for either of my roommates.  One was a staunch Republican and reminded me of David Spade from PCU.  But here's the thing, other people in the dorm weren't in the same boat as I was.  Most of them were not freshmen.  They were more interested in school as opposed to how to deal with not living at home for the first time ever.  The only people that I talk to still are people I met in my wife's freshman dorm.  Adult me looks back at the one year I spent in the dorms and thinks I should have stayed in the freshman dorms because everyone is in the same boat.  It is something to bond over.  Everyone is scared.  Everyone is taking the same classes.  Everyone wants to make a good impression. 

Take it easy freshman year!  I did really well my first semester of my freshman year.  After floundering with math and science in high school (seriously, I passed my junior year math class with a D-), I should have known to wait a few years to take some math and science classes in college.  The last thing I wanted to do was fail out of college.  However, I was a stupid eighteen year old and listened to my academic adviser and took both a math and two science classes during the second semester of my freshman year.  Now, I did all right in my math class, but struggled in one of my two science classes.  I wanted to get all of my general education classes out of the way as soon as possible.  Horrible idea.  Horrible!  I should have spread them out over the course of two years.  I did okay in one of my science classes, but bombed in the other one.  Again, I struggled to just pass the class.  It made me not want to go back.  And I started to skip class.  Horrible slippery slope there.  What I should have done is drop the class during the first two weeks in which it was okay to do so.  But I didn't, because I was an idiot.  Want my advise?  Take one required class a year.  Spread it out over the course of several years.  No one cares if you are a twenty year old taking a low level math class.  No matter what your academic adviser says about getting those classes done at the beginning of your college career. 

Take the classes you want to, not the classes you are told to!  Other than the general education requirements, I look back at some of the classes I took and thought, what the fuck?!  Other than the college classes I took for my degree (history and museum studies), the best classes I took were the ones I really really wanted to.  I knew that they wouldn't go towards earning my degree, but I took two creative writing classes.  I wanted to take them.  And I loved it.  They were a great break from all my history classes I was taking.  If someone tells you about a class you 'should' take, chances are you don't need to take it.  Make your class schedule about you.  Among all your classes you need to take, remember that college is also about having fun and you can do so in the classroom.  

Do stuff on campus!  I know that the big thing to do at college, other than go to parties, is to attend sporting events.  Yes, yes, I know there are other things going on on college campuses other than sports, but this is what I am going to focus on.  In my four years of attending college, I went to maybe four games.  Maybe.  I think that this reverts back to not living with people my own age.  Again, people in my dorm were more interested in their studies and not always going to a football game on Saturday afternoon.  Plus, the football team was horrible.  Like, win a game or two a year horrible.  Part of going to a game is going for the atmosphere, but the other part is to go and watch your team win a game.  There are other sporting events to go to, but we are a football centric society, so that's the main thing to see.  Not into sports?  Get involved in a political activist group.  Join a frat or sorority if you want to pay for validation.  Do something.  Sitting in your dorm or apartment all weekend isn't the best way to spend your college years.  Now, if you're an introvert or have social anxiety, you will have a problem with this.  So don't fret if you don't get involved in anything.  It's not for everyone.  

High school and college are suppose to be some of the best years of your life.  Personally, the three to four years after college were the best for me.  I met amazing people after college.  Most of my friends I have now are from post college life.  I worked the best job I have ever after the two summers after college.  Don't think that the fun life and times end once you graduate from college, it actually is just beginning. 

A Big Distraction

I have a friend down in Wichita that has loved Texas A&M football as far back as he can remember.  He always had a positive outlook on their games and years, even when they were not doing very well.  He is their 12th Man in Wichita.  I would love to pick his brain about their quarterback, Johnny Manziel.  Johnny Manziel became the first freshman in college football history to win the Heisman Trophy.  He made a name for himself with his play on the field last year.  He did the same this past off season with run ins with the law, making money for signatures, and other things a nineteen or twenty year old would most likely do.  Personally, I think he is exciting to watch play football.  He is like a kid in a candy store.  Just out there having a good time.  But, being a big name in the sport comes with big responsibilities which he has not handled well.  He is not the only student athlete that has had problems, he is just in the news right now because FOOTBALL!

Looking at their record from 2001-2011, the Texas A&M football team has eight more wins than losses.  There were up years where they won eight or nine games and down years where they won four or five.  So over the last decade, they have done okay for themselves.  There were no standout seasons with only one or two losses.  The best year was just in 2010 when they finished 18th in the country with a 9-4 record.  And then there was last year.  Manziel's freshman year.  The big move to the SEC.  All of a sudden, they go 11-2, beat down Oklahoma in the Cotton Bowl, and finish 5th in the country.  The Aggies and their fans are on top of the world.  All of this in his freshman year?  What can he do in the next two years before leaving for the NFL?  Is a national title in the future?  All he has done has been a distraction for the college and the football program during the off season.

So with all these distractions, why would A&M want to keep him around?  Winning is great.  They are in the conversation of the nation as they are ranked in the top ten in the preseason rankings (which don't really mean anything because it's the PRESEASON!)  Despite what any division one college says, football isn't about winning.  It's about making money.  A&M will deal with the distraction that is Johnny Manziel because he is good at playing a sport and can get people in the stadium to watch.  They can ride the roller coaster of Manziel-mania (is that a thing?) to another BCS bowl game because of the money that will come in as a result.  But what happens if he is deemed ineligible this year because of what he has done?  What happens if he is dismissed from the team?  Are they still a top ten team?  Teams are more than just a quarterback, but they do run the team on the field.  

Another reason to deal with the distractions is that A&M knows that they only have a few years of greatness before they fall back down to being a .500 team again.  They will deal with it because they are going to try and capitalize on it.  Not only with getting money for the school, but with recruits as well.  Top tier high school recruits are going to look at successful programs because they want to get to that next level.  They may say they want to go to a school with a winning program and help to carry on that tradition, but many of them have dollar signs in their eyes.  If they can get these top tier recruits, they can continue to reap the financial benefits.  The minute they start to slip down the rankings or start losing eight or nine games a year, they won't being going to those big bowl games and will start to not make as much money as they were when Johnny Manziel was playing.  

If you want to find a college that wants to talk about winning over making money for the school, go find a division two or three school.  Go find a junior college where local kids go get an education and get to carry on their local legacy as a football player.  Are there div. II and III graduates playing professional sports?  Absolutely.  At the rate of the div. I schools?  Don't kid yourself.  Or better yet, go to a division one school and go talk to a sports team that doesn't create revenue for their school.  Don't talk to the basketball program at Kentucky or Duke.  Don't talk to the football program at Alabama or Michigan.  Talk to a water polo team or a ski team.  Go talk to sports program head that don't have a professional level.  They are invested in their sport and winning.  The kids in those types of programs don't worry about making millions of dollars playing their sport.  They worry about getting an education and moving on into adulthood.  

Baseball Word Association

I snagged this idea off of this website.  This is a fun little game in which you use one or two words you associate with each team in the MLB.  For those who do not like baseball (SHAME!) you may not enjoy this post.  The teams are broken up by divisions.  For those who like baseball (you are AWESOME and I love you!) what word(s) do you associate with these teams?

Giants:  Bearded Closers
Rockies:  Ugly Uniforms
Diamondbacks:  Beat Yankees
Padres:  Ugly Uniforms
Dodgers:  Gibby '88

Reds:  Oldest Team
Pirates:  Resurgent
Cubs:  Loveable
Cardinals:  Professional
Brewers:  Outfield Slide

Mets:  Not Yankees
Phillies:  Horrible Fans
Braves:  Racist
Marlins:  Fire Sale
Nationals:  American Expos

A's:  Annoying Fanbase
Rangers:  Annoying Manager
Mariners:  Griffy Jr.
Astros:  MLB's AAAA
Angels:  Big Spenders

Tigers:  2003 (sobs in corner)
White Sox:  Douche Nozzles
Twins:  Game 163
Indians:  Racist
Royals:  Wasted Prospects

Yankees:  Evil
Red Sox:  Egotistical
Blue Jays:  Carter v. Williams
Orioles:  Ripken Jr.
Rays:   What Fans

I picked '2003' for the Tigers because it was such a low point for the organization.  It is also a point to look at to say 'look at how far they have come'.  It's the part of their past that no one wants to talk about but we all know how bad it was.  

The Keurig Conundrum

'Coffee:  the favorite drink of the civilized world.'

Thomas Jefferson

The greatest drink that has ever been produced in the world is coffee.  A close second is whiskey.  I start my days off with a pot of it.  I bring a thermos full of it to work.  There is no better way to get through a low point of a day than a hot cup of coffee.  Coffee is so important, that Jerry Seinfeld did a web series that is worth checking out.  The worst cup of coffee is better than a glass of pop.  With all that said about coffee, I both understand and am confused by the phenomenon that is the Keurig coffee maker.

I started drinking coffee when I worked at Cowtown Living History Museum in Wichita, KS.  I did so because it was something to do on the job.  I made it over an open fire in an old coffee pot.  Unfiltered, fully caffeinated, hot and delicious.  The water boiled and the ground beans went in.  Cool water was dumped in to settle the coffee grounds, but it never prevented them from getting into the cup.  They were the reward for emptying the cup.  Grounds at the bottom to chew on for a little bit.  Ever since then I have been a coffee drinker.  I never drank coffee in college.  Mainly because I was still in the mindset that pop was the way to go for caffeine.  That and the fact that we were college kids that didn't have a lot of money.  I still occasionally drink pop, but not for my main source of caffeine. 

When I think of making coffee, I think of a full 12 cup coffee pot.  I am baffled by anything smaller than that.  I understand that not everyone drinks coffee at a rate that would require a full on coffee maker, but why would you spend, on average, $100 on a top end coffee maker that makes a cup of coffee?  One cup of coffee!  Especially when you can buy a single cup coffee maker for something like twenty to forty dollars?  I know that decent 12 cup coffee makers are not cheap, but you get so much more coffee out of them.  It makes more sense.  There are people that have a four cup coffee maker and it just looks so small and sad compared to a regular sized coffee maker.  It's almost comical.  

There are people that just need to get going in the morning and that one cup of coffee on the drive to work is all they need for the day.  If you're into drinking just one cup of coffee, are you really wanting to invest hundreds of dollars not only on the coffee maker, but invest money on  the coffee itself?  A twelve pack of single cups for the Keurig type coffee makers are about ten dollars (on the low end).  It's just over a dollar for a cup of coffee which is cheaper than going to a coffee shop.  Again, I know that top end bags of coffee can run up to that ten to twelve dollar range, but a canister of Folger's or Maxwell House are nine dollars.  Then you get into the debate of do you want quality or quantity?  I want something hot and caffeinated.  Spending nine dollars on a canister of coffee that you use everyday versus a twelve pack of coffee cups that costs two dollars more but the quality might be a little bit higher. 

And it's not like a regular coffee maker needs to brew all twelve cups.  You can regulate how much water goes into it.  If you want half a pot, put in six cups of water.  This isn't rocket science people, it's common sense.  

Baseball Post!

The suspensions were handed down today regarding the Biogenesis PED scandal.  The biggest suspension being Alex Rodriguez at 211 games.  The rest of the players, including the Tigers' Jhonny Peralta, were all suspended for 50 games.  Personally, I think the best way to get PEDs out of sports is to get harsher on the penalties.  Last thing I'm going to say about this is....good.  I hope this mass suspension helps to clean the game up, because the one or two guys getting suspended didn't have any kind of impact.  And if you look at the majority of the players who were previously suspended, they did not have the clout that these players have.  This is good for the game hopefully because I love to watch this game and I don't want this game that I love to be even more tainted.  Instead of a three suspension (50, 100, life) system, I feel that they need to move to a two suspension (100, life) system.  

Let's move on...

The Detroit Tigers are playing some of the best baseball I have seen them play in quite a while.  It is comforting, but at the same time the Indians and Royals are playing just as well and they aren't gaining any ground on them.  These three teams got people's attention over the past ten.  All three of them are 9-1 over the past ten games.  Only one team in the entire MLB had a better stretch.  Atlanta is 10-0 over the past ten games.  If these three teams continue to play hot, it will make for a great end of the season.  Of course I would love to see the Tigers pull away from the other two teams, but it could make for a fun (or stressful) few months to watch.  It will also show the rest of the league that maybe the AL Central isn't the Tigers and everyone else. 

To say that the next four games are going to be huge is a vast understatement.  Currently the Tigers are three games ahead of the Cleveland Indians.  Best case scenario is the Tigers having a seven game lead going into the weekend, worst case is the Indians having a one game lead.  Splitting the series?  That would be nice.  Winning three of four would be better.  So not only is the series huge, but it could set the tone for the rest of the season.  This could be a series that if one of the teams ends up winning the division they could turn to and say 'it all started here.  At this four game series.'  I'm cautiously optimistic about this series.   

I want to say that the Tigers are going to dominate the Indians in this series and start to run away with the division, but there is just one problem.  It seems like every time I start talking trash about the Tigers playing so well, they let me down.  It all started back in 2006.  I was talking with a co-worker who is a Cardinals fan and I said that the Tigers would win the World Series in five games because of how well they played before.  We all know how that went, so NEVER AGAIN!  I will be quietly optimistic each year and will gloat when they win their games and will be humble when they lose their games.  And this doesn't just happen with the Tigers, it happens with other sports teams I follow. 

Go get 'em Tigers!

A Better Summer

Last summer was our first full summer in Minnesota.  It was unseasonably hot.  And annoying.  It topped one hundred degrees quite a few times.  On the forth of July last year, It got up to one hundred degrees with a real feel of one hundred and seven.  Here's proof:

Global warming isn't a real thing says the right wing crazies. Fuck you says I. pic.twitter.com/jeRXDTUa
— Michael Litzner (@Litzner) July 4, 2012

 This year, I believe the high on that exact same day was eighty five degrees.  A fifteen degree difference.  While it still felt warm, it was nice.  I sat out on the balcony with a beer and watched some fireworks courtesy of the neighbors.  When you are able to sit outside and enjoy the heat, you know something is going right.  The hot weather so far this year has been in the mid-nineties.  From what I can gather from people that have lived here most of their lives, this year is more normal weather-wise.  A few days that you just have to deal with it being uncomfortable and the rest are warm but tolerable.  This is the kind of summer I love. 

This week we have had a cool front come through.  Last night it was down to the lower fifties.  And when I woke up this morning it was overcast and in the sixties.  I know that there are people out there that will complain about it.  Saying that it's summer time and it should be warmer than this.  But then again, are these the same people that complain when it is too hot?  Personally, I would love it if the temperature never got about seventy five.  While living in Kansas, we dealt with the fact that in July and August that high eighties were going to be in the low and hitting triple digits were going to be a normal event.  

I'm a cold weather type of person.  I would rather have the option of bundling up with heavy coats, boots, hats, gloves, etc. than to sweat in shorts and a tee shirt.  The cold air smacking you in the face when you walk outside for the first time is great.  It takes your breath away for that split second and you have to stand there and regain your composure.  That is a lot better than getting hit with oppressive heat when you step outside of an air conditioned building.   Give me negative twenty over ninety any day of the week. 

That's Cat-tastic!

Back in April, we had to put our cat Libby to sleep.  It was a very very sad and very very difficult decision.  She wasn't the typical run around, meow at everything, be out and about cat.  She just kinda hung out.  Like a badass that didn't care if you thought she was around.  Very 'yeah, I'm here, what?'  Even though she wasn't always out and about, it was strange for a couple of months not having her around.  I would wake up in the morning for work and walk out and expect to see her out on the couch and she wasn't there.  We went three months without a cat.  It was a good time frame for mourning the loss of Libby.

While home, my wife adopted a kitten.  We named her Olive.  I missed out on Libby's kitten phase because I was still working in Michigan while my wife was down in Wichita.  So it's fun for me to play with Olive.  She is in her bite everything phase which we should break soon because we don't want a cat that bites as she grows up.  She'll play for quite a bit and then just fall asleep.  Every once in a while she'll randomly fall of the couch quite humorously.  She bounces right back like nothing happened.  The best part about having a kitten?  I can hold her in one hand.  That's how small she is right now.  

Absolute Queue Control

I have been home by myself since I have gotten back from vacation at the beginning of June.  Other than working, I have only done a handful of stuff other than work and drink.  I went out and explored a disc golf course.  It was a great way to spend a day off.  It was warm, but not too hot.  It was tolerable.  One thing that I have been doing is busting through our Netflix queue.  The way we handle our queue is alternate between movies/shows that either one of us wants to watch or one that we both want to watch.  It is easier when a disc that either my wife or I wanted.  We can watch it whenever we want and don't have to wait for the other to be in the mood to watch the movie or even be home. 

Anyway, below is a list of what I went through in the five weeks I have been on my own.  Pretty decent amount.  I tried my best to have a quick turn around on the discs to see as many as possible during my wife's absence.  I think eight movies in a month plus a week is a good number.  

• Zero Dark Thirty
• Seven Psychopaths
• City Lights
• Argo
• Mission:  Impossible III
• Mission:  Impossible Ghost Protocol
• Iron Sky
• Savages

Not only have I watched all those movies, I got through two and a half seasons of Mad Men.  I own all the seasons so it's not like they haven't been readily available, but the sixth season just wrapped up and I wanted a retrospective on the character development or decay.  It was great to see how some of them started and where they are now as the show is winding down.

On Wednesday my wife finally is coming home.  We will revert back to the way of alternating between movies that I want to watch and her movies.  We will also be able to squeeze in a movie or two that we both want to see.  

Erick Erickson: Worst Person in the World?

Social media is a great thing.  It allows instant access to people's thoughts and feelings on subjects they, and presumably you, are interested in.  It can also get you in a ton of trouble.  There are many sports teams that prevent athletes from going on websites such as Twitter during or directly after games or practices.  It gets written into contracts.  This is a good idea.  There have been plenty that have put their foot in their mouths and have either deleted the tweet or issued a bullshit apology.  Saying that 'your Twitter got hacked' is a horrible excuse for not thinking before tweeting.

At the end of last week, Texas passed House Bill 2 putting harsh restrictions on abortions.  It is since heading to Rick Perry's desk to be signed into law.  If anyone is curious, there was a Supreme Court decision in 1973 which made abortion legal in this country.  It goes by the name of Roe v. Wade.  Anyway, a Right Wing talking head by the name of Erick Erickson tweeted this out not long after the bill passed:

this is the tweet of a sociopath. RT @EWErickson: Dear Liberals, go bookmark this site now: http://t.co/4lpNThqhLI
— Lauren Rankin (@laurenarankin) July 13, 2013

Now let that link sink in for just a second.  Horrible right?  Erick Erickson contributes to Fox News and runs his own website (Redstate.com).  It is one thing to be very excited about something that you believe in getting passed in a state.  I know a ton of people that were happy when DOMA was struck down and when gay marriage was legalized in the state of Minnesota.  It is another thing to taunt those who oppose what you believe in.  And to do so in such a manner is unbecoming.  This guy is a douchebag, straight up.  He revels in his controversial statements and makes fake apologies.

Not long after he tweeted this, it was deleted, but not before people got a hold of it and went ranting and raving against him.  Listen, whether you are pro-choice or pro-life you have to look at this and think 'who the fuck does this?'  Who thinks that it is funny to link a site for hangers after an anti-abortion bill is passed?  Someone that is completely disconnected with not only reality but humanity as well.  

Fight the (A/C) Machine

It has been a little warm in Minnesota over the past month or so.  It gets up into the eighties during the day, but it cools down at night.  Last year it was crazy hot during the summer.  We ran our air conditioner quite a bit and it was glorious!  It was also expensive.  Because that's what air conditioners do.  Suck money and spit out cold, refreshing air.  I know there are hotter areas of the country right now, so just shut up.  It's hot and humid here. 

Since I have been back from vacation, I have refused to turn it on.  I can handle sitting in the apartment and sweating a little bit.  And besides, I'm gone to work for half the day.  When I get home, the high temperature of the day has all but passed so I just have to wait out the heat.  I have been using a couple of fans in the window and in the balcony door to circulate the air to try and cool down the apartment.  It works mostly.  There are points in the day when I want to just be cold.  This is why I miss winter.  You can bundle up in sweatshirts and jeans and wear slippers to keep your feet warm.  What can you do in the summer if you don't want to turn the A/C on?  Get naked?  That's about it.  Putting on shorts and a tee-shirt aren't going to cool you off.  Just the A/C will.  And if you don't want to pay for it, you are painted into a corner. 

I made it a point not to turn it on in the month of June.  I made it, and I was proud of myself.  Then I thought, the heat so far this month hasn't been too bad.  I can handle it for a little bit longer.  I'm sure that as July rolls into August, the heat and humidity will rise and we'll fall to the temptation to use the air conditioner.  Until that time, though, I stand defiant.  A little sweaty, but defiant nonetheless.  

Cook Time

I got back from work last night and was starving.  I went through the cupboards and found a whole lotta nothing.  I shouldn't say that, I did find some cocoa almonds (those things are amazing!).  So I snacked on those and drank a few beers to unwind.  I sat down and started to make a list of food I need.  You see, I've been on my own since I got back from vacation at the beginning of the month.  My wife stayed at home to help out her mom while she recovers from back surgery. 

I have been trying to eat somewhat healthy while she is away.  Sure, I've had a frozen pizza and grabbed some fast food, but I know how horrible the stuff is so I'm trying my best to stay away from it.  The easiest way to do that is to have food here to make.  The problem is that I have cooked and eaten everything that I bought when I got back.  This problem has only surfaced while I have been working this weekend as it is my closing weekend and I don't have to cook dinner.  So I get home at 11:00 at night and just want something to snack on.  But there isn't anything because I haven't been cooking.  I eat breakfast (okay, drink coffee) and eat lunch at work.  Come Monday, though, I won't have anything to eat.  So along with my grocery list I started last night, I planned out my week of dinners.  I have taken some stuff out of the freezer for tomorrow (hopefully it's thawed out), I took inventory of what I have in the house now. 

Having these food plans can keep you on track so you don't rush around on any given night wondering what is in the house to cook or eat.  It also prevents you from just giving up and going out to eat.  That's not bad to do every once in a while, it's nice to go out and have a meal.  But to do it on a consistent basis or at least once a week is just poor planning.  I know that things come up and not everything is controllable, but if you don't plan on going out and try to plan meals you won't find yourself at a restaurant.  Simple enough, right? 




If I didn't try to plan these meals out, I feel that I would try to survive on those cocoa almonds...and beer.

Conversations and Monologues (pt. 2)

Part one and a description of what these posts are about can be found here.  Enjoy. 
---
The one thing I remember from ice fishing as a kid is losing the feeling in my toes.  Every single time.  I could wear wool socks and regular socks and another pair of wool socks. 
They would always go numb.  I don't understand why.  Being in a shanty with the propane heater. 
It never failed.  Just looking down the hole, watching the fish gather around the wiggler.  Hoping for the big one to take it, but it never did.  It was always the smaller ones.  The best times can be so miserable.
---
'It always made me feel good going home during school breaks.'
'Yeah, it was nice to sleep in my own bed.  Not some dorm room concentration camp type bunk.
'Well, that too.'
What were you talking about?'
'Whenever we go out to the bars and see everyone who didn't get out.'
'What about 'em?'
'It makes me happy.  And sad.  They are stuck here drinking their lives away.  Working at gas stations and connivance stores.  It's sad that it happens.  But to whom it happened to makes me happy.'
---
I've only dealt with death a few times in my life.  It didn't affect me at all.  It was just one of those things that happens.  Great Uncle So and So, Second Cousin Johnny, people you haven't seen in years.  The people you met once when you were ten years old.  How do you respond to that?
Okay.
That's too bad.
So.
That sucks.
You don't want to appear insensitive but at what point do you draw the line?  Is it okay to not shed a tear for your second cousin, but have an emotional break down for a grandparent's ex-wife who was still awkwardly close to the family?
The lines need to be defined, but every person reacts so differently.  To be emotionally cold is the way to be.
When I was nine, my dad's mom died.  I don't remember him being outwardly upset.  Maybe that is the way I am.  In control on the outside, but deep down falling apart with grief and agony.  I like that idea.  A facade to show the world how strong you really are.