Grab an anchor before you go outside

From the time I moved down here right up until today I have hated Kansas for one reasons...the weather. A and I shot ourselves in the foot on this one. We agreed we would move to wherever the first job was. Just so happens to be in the middle of the country where there are no trees, no real lakes, and a shit ton of wind. So take Michigan and make it's polar opposite and you have Kansas. There is one similarity, bad drivers from other places. Back home, you had the bad drivers from Canada, and here the bad drivers are from Oklahoma. My parents were down here for about six days and they experienced just about every kind of weather in those six days. Just plain windy, fifties and sunny (with wind), and snow. It was pretty pathetic. The only thing that was missing was everything shutting down when it started to snow which is typical of Kansas. Get a little snow and shit locks up. Just about everything from schools, to churches (which there are tons of...TONS), to restaurants. A great anecdote about the last one:

Last year, A and I went out for a dinner and there was suppose to snow a little. Around two to three inches, which is nothing to us. So it is 6:30ish and we go to a restaurant and on the door is a home made sign stating: Due to the inclement weather, we will be closing at 8:00pm tonight." Fucking weak man. We just laughed at it. We walked in and there were maybe two or three other couples in the building. So it felt very exclusive. It was the 'we have no problem going out when it snows' club.

So it snowed, and then it all melted a couple of days later. Pretty weak. But one thing that isn't weak down here is the wind. Wicked awful. Down here, because there are no trees, the wind just whips right through the state. So on the highway you need to clench to the steering wheel and really pay attention to what you are doing. The wind will definitely push and pull your car one way or the other. And if you weigh less than about 120 down here you definately need to weigh yourself down with some rocks, or a small anchor, or it will pick you up.

I have yet to go outside today, it is around 10:00am, but I can hear the wind. It's sunny outside and should be around fifty, but with the wind it'll be around forty or thirty. It is really sad. Luckily I only have a little drive to work.

hollywierd (house remix) and flying hubcaps

I don't have a tendency to dwell on the happenings of hollywood for the main reason that those people are shallow and have no souls. However, I still have one thought on the death of Heath Ledger. I have figured out why it is such a tragedy, and it's not because he died this young (that happens). It's the fact that people like him (you know, the talented and respectable ones) die and then you have lindsey lohan doing nose candy and driving at the same time, fifty pound paris hilton drinking like a fish (and doing some blow [allegedly]), britney spears opening up her own baby factory, and the whatnot and nothing happens to them. They are the ones who deserve to go into drug induced comas and never come out, or get sent to Africa and dropped in the middle of the Congo, or get put in jail for twenty years so we don't hear from them ever again. But that's not how it works. Too bad.

I'm done with that. Onward.

I watched a hubcap fall off a car today. It was great. I took my fish bowl of change to the bank and was by the highway and watched a high school kid come off the highway and turn left after the light turned red (which seems customary here in Wichita, and does that piss me off to no end). So he is speeding and turning and then off comes his passenger side front hubcap. Serves him right, the greasy high school bastard. It rolled right into the ditch too, so you can't see it. But yeah, it was just like in the movies...make the turn and the cap continues to go straight while the car turns. He didn't even slow down which leads me to believe he didn't notice it falling off...nice.

Not a good start for hollywood

It took about twenty days for two actors to die. One that was currently relevant in Heath Ledger and one that was not so much in Brad Renfro. Let's be honest here, not many people remember who Brad Renfro was (but thankfully, we have IMDB to look him up). Both causes are thought to have to deal with sleeping pills, booze, and the whatnot. Nothing illegal like coke or heroin. And both are very, very unfortunate. Heath Ledger was a very skilled, very funny actor (he's one of the reasons why I like 10 things I hate about you, the other being Julia stiles...mmmm....). Who knows, maybe both of those actors could have turned key roles that would have changed cinema forever, but we will never know.

It is unfortunate. These are the kind of events that make you wonder if everything is laid out...yes, fate. The road map of life. Does our life have a book already written? Some lives end up being short stories and others are War and Peace. Or perhaps, it's a choose your own adventure book. But in this one, you can't look ahead to both options and pick the best one. You can't find out if you save the princess or get barbecued by the dragon, you just have to keep your head about you.

Brad, Heath: God speed gentlemen.

The internet: get you some

I came to another realization today: the internet...yeah, it's pretty useless. Think about all the hours you spend on it. Hours can't be much of an understatement for some people. I do spend quite a fair amount of time on the computer, I can admit that. But think of things that can get done while you spend time on the internet...

• reading
• exercising
• socializing
• cleaning

The list can go on and on. And I can already here my wife, 'Then why don't you do that instead of sit in front of the computer?' The answer is simple: I'm lazy. So take that A. :o) Just like most other people in the world. That's why we're all fat.

I have had a number of 'revelations' and 'realizations' as of late (if that is what you want to call them). I guess that is one great thing about this whole online writings, you can just get your thoughts out there for everyone else to read. Maybe one of these great thoughts that come to me will inspire someone, somewhere, to do something productive. But then again, maybe not.

If you are reading this, when was the last time you sat down and read a book, went for a walk outside, or wrote a thought down?

work revelation number two

Once again, a nice scene at work has led to a great life learning revelation. I have made the comical statement that if I ever have kids, they are going to get a spanking one day a week. That will install fear and disciple into the kid (who may also grow up to hate me...but that is okay). Very German thought mentality, which works being German and all. In actuality, I wouldn't do that, but it is in the back of my mind.

The reason I bring this up is because I saw a mother snap at her child today. I don't mean snap as in lose her mind and start yelling at the kid, I mean snap with her fingers. At the kid. As to say 'hurry up'. Yeah, it blew my mind. I have seen a lot of parenting techniques from bribery, to yelling, threatening, to just leaving the kid screaming on the ground. But this was the first time I had seen a parent snap at a kid.

It was an entertaining sight at first, but then I started to think about it. That is what you do when you are mad at a dog and want it to come to you, not at your kid when you want them to make a quick snack decision. What does that say about the society we live in when it is okay to not talk but snap at your kids? The kid was being a bit obnoxious, but still...that just wasn't cool overall. It isn't a big deal, it didn't affect the kid, but is that something they teach in parenting skills 101?

revelation at work

If you are above the age of thirteen, you should not have a pet rat.

I had someone come up to me today and ask if a certain kind of cage liner was free of some kind of wood because his pet rats (yes, note the plurality of the word rat) were allergic to it. And my thought process went to two things. 1.)He can't be married and
2.)I wonder how many dead bodies he has in his ice chest.

That shit is just wrong. He wasn't some high school kid with a pet snake and had feed mice or feed rats. He wasn't some kind of scientist. He's just lonely. He just needs a friend to talk to and unfortunately, it is in the form of some allergenic rats. Is that even possible? How can you be allergic to wood?

A quick note on the year so far

I know I just finished writing, but I got one more thing. And it has nothing to do with the previous topic. Most people have written something down about the past year and the year ahead by now, and I tried not to do it. However, I can't resist. So just imagine if you are reading this that it is the first or second of January and fuck off if you don't want to.

In 2008, this is what I don't want to hear about:

• steroids in sports
• weight issues that celebrities have
• dane cook
• millionaires complaining about anything

In 2008, this is what I do want to hear about

• millionaires doing something for someone else (excluding their close friends with coke problems)
• something good on the news every night (I am sick and tired about everything that is on the news: war, drugs, shootings, stabbings, oprah, celebrities). I don't care if it is about a puppy being adopted from the local shelter, someone finding five bucks on the ground and giving it back to the rightful owner, or a cease fire lasting more than two weeks. There has to be some good that happens everyday.
• the Detroit Tigers winning the World Series (sorry, a bit bias)
• Musicians writing and playing their own music (I'm a bit weary of this american idol singer bullshit). just because you can sing doesn't make you a musician. What kind of band would the Beatles have been if the four of them just stood around and sang?
• Rap music going away.

If any of that happens, I'll put this year in the win column.

...and all that political bullshit

I've determined that all this political bullshit and none sense needs to go away. I know that nothing would get done in the scenario I am about to suggest, but it would ease up on all this political positioning almost an entire year before an election takes place: Just alternate. Think about it. Every six years go to another political party for president. Extend the years in office from four to six years that way something might actually get done (HA) and kick them the hell out and let the other party take over for six years.

And to completely do away with all the campaigning, make the previous president pick two candidates, both from the opposite party. These two candidates would be approved by congress and senate and then the people would vote. Because politicians are egocentric, they are going to want to be known as 'the president who picked two good candidates' not the guy who is best known for 'picking those two guys that were horrible'. This would also bring the political left and right closer together because the previous president would (I assume) try to pick someone just like him to get more of their agenda done, but because he would have to choose from the other party, that candidate would have to be close to the former on the political scale, so they would get closer and closer to the middle. Make sense? I hope so because that isn't getting explained again.

I just can't stand people who walk in on voting day and vote based on political party. It doesn't make any sense, but they are blind and stupid if they vote straight ticket. This kind of system would make people stop and think about who they vote for. It doesn't matter to some people if a candidate wants to burn down all the schools or put babies on rotisseries, they would vote for them because they are part of their political party.

Stop and listen to what politicians are really saying, not what they are spoon feeding you. And don't be afraid to look to the left or the right when considering your options.

content with work

I've decided to take a quick break from the soap box blogging. That last entry took a bit out of me. My brain can only take so much these days. So here is something light and airy to nibble on: I'm not gonna lie, there are some days I wonder 'what if...' and the questoin expands from there.
What if...

• I found a job using my degree
• I wanted to go back to school
• Another company approaches me for a new job

There are those days when I would love to have an educator's job at a museum so I wouldn't have to deal with all the shit that I do have to deal with at work. Or even a curator's position. But then, after I think about that, I realize two things. 1.) I make more money now then I would starting out at a museum, especially here in Wichita and 2.) I can honestly say that I am both comfortable and happy with my job.

My boss asked me a question today that he was kind of required to ask. He asked me if I would be interested in moving to another department. He and I both tried not to laugh. After asking he said 'I knew what you would say but C wanted me to ask just in case. I told her I thought you would quit before moving to that department.' My response: 'I wouldn't go that far, but no I don't want to work over there. Or anywhere else for that matter.'

I also know of companies going and scouting (I guess that would be the right word) people from other companies to go work for them. I know we do it all the time. It happens when companies are in a crunch for people. It happens. They dangle more money in front of people hoping that will lure them away. Thats the beast of retail I suppose. Kind of makes you feel like a whore if you ask me. I wouldn't do it. I like my job, I like my bosses, and I like my company too much to do it. Have I been brainwashed? Perhaps, but I'm okay with that because I get paid.

keep your religion off your bumper and mine

I'm just going to throw this out there and get it out of the way...religion is pissing me off. I'm sick of those fucking jesus fish on the backs of cars, and sick of the darwin fish, or the jesus fish eating the darwin fish, or the darwin fish eating the jesus fish, or the darwin fish eating the jesus fish that is eating...get my point? SICK OF IT I highly doubt that the person behind you cares if you believe in evolution or creation. They only care that you get off the phone. It's not going to change someone's mind. 'Hang on, maybe evolution did happen because that person has a fish that has legs on their bumper.' I surely hope that is not the thought process as people put that shit on their bumpers.

I do have a little wiggle room to talk about this. I openly admit, I do have three stickers on the back of The Jeep. And all have a good reason.

sticker 1: 'Marxists get crazy laid' Obviously I have a man crush on Karl Marx, its the wicked beard. I have his most popular book, I titled this whole reading and typing experiment after said book, and I own a sticker with an entire political theory based on him on my vehicle. Plus, it makes people read it a couple of times and still won't get it. He developed the greatest government (in theory) in communism: you really can't predict the greed of an entire nation...or can you?, and his development of communism led to several key events in our history in the United States, just within the last fifty years:

• The Korean War
• The Vietnam War
• The Cold War
• Our landing on the moon (we were trying to beat the Soviets there, for what I do not really know. Maybe moon rocks)
  
• Cuban missle crisis
• Fidel Castro
• Our supplying upstart Al Queda against the Soviets in Afghanistan (didn't see that end game, did we? Oops)
  

The list goes on. Think of everything that may not have happened if Karl Marx had never been born.


sticker 2: 'Don't tread on me' A wonderful statement to come out of the American Revolution. This can be applied to our current state of affairs. I try to avoid politics and the war, but this is a great thought for anyone trying to persuade someone towards the left or right.

sticker 3: 'Unamerican' Don't get me wrong, I enjoy living in this country. However, there is that great running joke revolving around that if you go outside of the North American continent, just claim to be Canadian, and I feel like doing that ALL THE TIME. People blame george bush for our current state of affairs, and rightly so, but don't forget about the rest of the politicans who either back him or didn't fight hard enough to get their agendas pushed through. In all honesty, I have lost faith in the american way. It is too commerical, for lack of a better word. It revolves heavily on what you own (for example, do soccer moms really need that H2 or yukon?) and unfortunately that is what people notice.

It'll be twenty years down the road before china takes over as 'world power', but let them have it now and let's go back to an isolationist practice until Germany tries to take over the world again.


One last thing. If it were not against some law (which I'm sure it is one), I would rip off every single bumper sticker that dealt with the 'one man + one woman = marriage' every single mother fucker that has that on their car needs to get beat. Marriage is for everyone.