War on Christmas

I'm just going to put this out there before I start:  there's going to be some profanity in this post.  Mainly because I will be quoting Quentin Tarantino's classic 'Pulp Fiction'.  Well, not exactly quoting, but using an exchange from the movie and substituting some words.  

I have always thought that the idea that there was a war on Christmas was ridiculous.  I have never understood why some people do not like others saying 'seasons greetings' or 'happy holidays' instead of 'merry Christmas'.  I thought about writing a serious post about the war on Christmas and how it has gained momentum thanks to people like Bill O'Reilly, but instead I wanted to keep it light and funny.  Now, in my mind when I wrote this I pictured a Bill O'Reilly/Rush Limbaugh-esque type person going nuts after someone saying 'happy holidays' instead of 'merry Christmas'.  

I hope this brings a little smile and laughter to everyone.  If you believe that there is a war on Christmas, you're going to be offended maybe.  And I know that my job will be done.  

'Merry Christmas.'

'Happy Holidays.'

Why did you say 'Happy Holidays'?

What? 
What country are you from? 
What? What? Wh - ? 
"What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They say 'Merry Christmas' in What? 
What? 

'Merry Christmas', motherfucker, do they say it? 
Yes! Yes! 
Then you know what I'm sayin'! 
Yes! 
Say 'Merry Christmas'! 
'Happy Holidays.' 
Say 'Happy Holidays' again. Say 'Happy Holidays' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say 'Happy Holidays' one more Goddamn time! 

For those of you who have seen 'Pulp Fiction', you will surely now these lines I have used, if you haven't seen it, I'm sorry because you will probably have no idea what is going on here.  But the major question is, why haven't you seen the movie?