Why oh why?

Today was the day of dumb people at work. It just seemed like some people forgot to insert their brains this morning.

First story:
Call comes over the walkie for meat department. So I pick it up, dial the number and a lady comes on and the following conversation took place (I shit you not.) "Is it okay for me to eat some chicken that I bought at your store if it has been in the fridge since Monday?" "Well, is it cooked?" "Yes." "Then it should be fine." "You're sure?" "As long as it was cooked and it wasn't left out on the counter, it should be fine." "Okay then, thank you." "You are welcome...*hangs up phone* dumb bitch (under my breath)." Later on, my mind continued on: Seriously, what the fuck kind of question was that? No, you better throw it away and come spend more of your money here. Just test it out on your kids, if they are fine, go ahead and eat it.

Second story:
I found out why the gym teacher never wanted kids to have shoes that scuffed up the floor. You know, leave those streaks of black on the floor. As I was walking back towards the dairy aisle, I spot out of the corner of my eye a child with his mom. They are walking down one of the frozen food aisle and the kid is kicking at the floor and leaving this GREAT line of black scuffs in his wake. The little motherfucker! Come on Mom, yell at him (oh wait, the kid looks like he has never been told 'no' before in his life). If your mom wasn't around, so help me I would throw you in the cardboard compactor. And then, my thought about the word no is confirmed when I hear the mother say the following: "Come on Jersey." Once again, I shit you now with this stuff. The parents named this little son of a bitch Jersey. I'm just assuming that is where this little bastard was conceived. I would defiantly think about hating my parents for the rest of my life if I had a name like that.

Third story (more of just a conversation):
"Do you work here?"
No, I killed a worker, threw away the body, and decided to walk around with these clothes on "Yes, can I help you find something?"
"Do you carry dried, canned beef?"
Oh you mean beef jerky? "Canned beef?" Jesus CHRIST "Yeah, it'll be in aisle four." You know, the aisle with the sign that says CANNED MEAT on it.


Bastards; all of them.



And a quick side note: Once again for Lent, I have decided to give up all alcohol. 40 days without a drop of booze, and I am going to be more strick on myself this year about it. Not even going to have a drink on Sunday. So we'll see how it goes, 2 days down.