Look, if you don't understand what is going on by now (there have been a couple of previous posts like this one), then scroll through the archives. There isn't the largest audience for this blog, so I'm sure you follow these posts.
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'Well you have to be good at something.'
'I fucked two sorority girls in one night.'
'That's nothing special.'
'They were sorority sisters and their rooms were right next to each other.'
A slight pause.
'Okay, that is something special. But I mean outside the realm of fucking two girls in the same house, what are you good at?'
'I can't really think of anything.'
'Didn't you go to college?'
'Just because I went to college doesn't mean I'm good at something.'
'You didn't graduate?'
'Oh no. I graduated. But there is a difference between GPA and IQ. A high GPA means you have a great attention span. IQ means you are actually smart. Having a high GPA just means you studied and did well on tests and the such, that doesn't mean you are smart. You can take all that Cum Laude and Summa Cum Laude shit and shove it because out in the real world, GPA don't mean a damn thing. I have the IQ, I didn't have the GPA.'
'I would think that having those honors would get you interviews and jobs at highly sought after places.'
'Those Cum Laude motherfuckers are the ones that get the best and everyone else is left with the scraps. They sit there in their corner offices and sneer at us and our lower paying jobs. Doesn't mean those people getting those interviews and jobs are any better at it than I am. It just means they think they're better than me'
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'You know what I think the most American image is?'
'Bald Eagle.'
'Big Mac.'
'Apple Pie.'
'No. No. And No. Bottled beer. Not those short fat bottles or those eleven and a half ounce bottles, I'm talking long necks. Twelve ounces of glory.'
'I don't know man, that's kind of a hard sell. Especially when there are so many other options out there that represent this country. You know, think about the Bald Eagle flying through the Iraqi skies getting ready to drop a bomb from it's talons. It doesn't get more American than that!'
'Murica, fuck yeah!'
Laughter.
'I'm serious about the bottled beer. What goes great with bottled beer? Grilling. Which is also a great American past time. Think back to your childhood when your family had a cook out. You know, grilling hot dogs or burgers. You and your brother out in the backyard playing catch. What was your Dad drinking? Sure as shit wasn't some microbrew that was made with fruit and tannins.'
'I think tannins are mostly in wines, dude.'
'Shut up. It was something like a Budweiser or a Miller or a Schlitz. It was a long neck bottle with condensation running down the side because it was so fuckin' hot out. The clear glass bottle and you could see the foam at the top. It was the sound and the smell of the grill. It's something to look back at and think to yourself "This is what I want to have when I grow up." That's why when it comes to grilling season, I buy long neck bottles of beer. I like to have that connection to a nostalgic time when there wasn't a thing to worry about.'
'That's quite the speech. But your burgers are burning.'
'Shit...'
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